Assume Positive Intent

Fortune Magazine had their "Best Advice" issue (May 12, 2008). While there were many great pieces of advice, one really stood out for me. It was by Indra Nooyi (Chairman and CEO of Pepsi): "Whatever anybody says or does, assume positive intent . . . . When you assume negative intent, you're angry."

This is a behavior that I need to improve on. It's so easy to see a behavior and assume the worst -- or even just assume that we know that person's motivation. However, by following Nooyi's advice and assuming positive intent, we allow ourselves room to explore (and, at the very least, we save ourselves from some unnecessary anger).

When I was in Missouri when my mom was dying, my sisters and I took shifts at the hospital with mom. I had left the hospital around four in the morning. At 7:30 that morning, my sister called and told me that I needed to get back -- mom had taken a sharp turn for the worse. I jumped in the car and started driving. As luck would have it, the town was having it's city-wide garage sale. This meant that a number of the streets were blocked off and that people were driving very slow so that they could peruse the different sales from their cars. I was frantic! I had the misfortune of getting behind one pick-up truck who was going very, very slow and who was driving in the center of the road. I tried tapping the horn and trying to signal that I needed to get around him. That just made him slow down. It's entirely possible that he thought I was just being an impatient, obnoxious driver. He had no way of knowing that I was desperately trying to get to my mother's side before she died. I am remembering that as I am driving in the city: when someone cuts me off or is driving impatiently, I remind myself that I don't know where they are going or what their circumstances are. It allows me to be a little more patient, a little more forgiving. It also saves me from expending -- and wasting -- energy on being angry.