Most of you know I'm a long-time Chicago fan... GO BEARS!

The world keeps getting smaller. This week I had someone from Zambia contact me. He had read my article, "Tips for Saying No Gracefully," on the web and found it helpful. He was facing a tricky situation, and he wanted a bit of advice on how to handle it. His situation wasn't that different from many of the situations I've heard about from my fellow students: how do you say no and stand firm on that no?

If you want the other person to accept your no and not get upset, then I think that the single most important thing to do is not frame it as an outright, in your face, denial of the request. You want to frame your response in terms of what you can do. There is nothing wrong with a counter-proposal. Counter-proposals take the following forms:

• Not now, but later: "I can’t do it now, but I can later. Will that work for you?"
• Yes, but with limits: "I'd love to help you that. Because of other commitments I've already made, I can't take on all of it, but here's what I can do" (and then layout what you can do and can't do).
• No, but I'd still like to help in some way "I'm not the best person to help you with that, but I can help you find someone."
• Of course, there are also times when it's appropriate to simply say a plain, old-fashioned, no.

Most importantly, if you find yourself always saying yes to others – as if you can't help yourself – have a standby line that forestalls the decision until you have time to think about it. Try this: "That sounds interesting and you know I'd love to help. Let me think about it and check my calendar and other commitments. I will get back to you by tomorrow."

For those of you who would like to learn more, check out my article, "Tips for Saying No Gracefully," Which one of my professors uses as a standard handout now for his classes on leadership. Here's the link:

http://www.bobbikahler.com/resources/articles/sayingno.php

How can you set boundaries to protect your priorities?

To Your Success,

Read More Success Builders Weekly™
See past issues in the Success Builders Weekly™ Archive.

About Success Builders Weekly™
Success Builders Weekly™ is an email series with short, fun success stories and quotes. To subscribe to Success Builders Weekly™, simply submit your email address with the form in this message or on our web site at http://www.bobbikahler.com/resources/successbuilders/index.php

Reader Feedback
If you have a comment (or even a criticism) about the Success Builders Weekly™, we'd love to hear it!