True peace is not merely the absence of some negative force – tension, confusion or war; it is the presence of some positive force – justice, good will and brotherhood.
-- Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

I once worked with a woman, Debbie, who was going through a divorce. I sat next to her and she was one of my best friends. From the day that it became known that she was going through a divorce, something rather odd happened. One person after the other would stop by her desk and say, "I heard you were divorcing your husband. Why? Does he beat you?" When she responded no, they'd ask, "Oh, did he cheat on you?" She’d patiently say no once again. Then they'd ask, "Oh, he does he abuse drugs or alcohol?" When they found out that he didn't, they would look confused and say, "Well, then why are you divorcing him?" As though the absence of these negative things necessarily meant that things were positive at home.

I am now reading a book which contains the writings and speeches of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Last night I read this passage: "True peace is not merely the absence of some negative force – tension, confusion or war; it is the presence of some positive force – justice, good will and brotherhood." He went on to make the distinction between the two and label the former a negative peace and the latter a positive peace. As I read this, it really made me stop and think about how this applies in so many aspects of our lives.

It made me think of how folks reacted to Debbie's divorce. They mistook a negative peace (absence of abuse) for a positive peace (a loving, synergistic, supportive relationship). Perhaps, the possibility of a positive peace never occurred to them. But, don't we all deserve a positive peace – a positive co-existence – with those with whom we have relationships instead of merely tolerating a negative one? In my relationships, I want a little more than merely the absence of malice.

What does your positive peace look like?

To Your Success,

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