On Thursday, April 3rd my younger sister, Suzette, called me. When I answered, she started sobbing. She had rushed Mom to the emergency room, and it didn't look good. I jumped in the car and started driving. My mother had stopped talking to me – again – back in February. When she had stopped talking to me, she told my sisters that it was a decision that she could live with. As I drove the 600 or so miles, I didn't know if she would speak to me, and I didn't know if I would make it there in time to see her.

When I walked into her hospital room, I could tell that she was very close to death. She was still awake, however. From what I learned later, she knew I was on my way, and she was determined to see me. I could tell by the look on her face that she was happy to see me and that it was important to her that I was there. She grabbed my hand and didn't let go. She told me that she loved me and always had and I told her that I loved her too. I sat by her bed that night, holding her hand, listening to her struggle to breathe and making sure that her morphine pump kept going. In the darkness of those hours, an important lesson came to me. We always hear people say, "It's a decision I can live with." That day I learned that it doesn't matter if it's a decision you can live with. It matters if it is a decision you can die with. I now understand that there is a monumental difference in those two things.

On Saturday, April 5th, at 9:12 a.m., my mother passed from this world. I held her hand for the final hour, talking to her, telling her that it was okay now and that she had raised all of us girls to be strong and that we all loved her. In her final moments, she was finally at peace. I watched as the struggle that consumed most of her life slipped away before her. As the struggle and turmoil that dominated her life faded away, all that was left was the love. Even though it was horribly difficult and painful, I feel blessed that I was there to experience that with her. This issue is dedicated to the best of my mother: to her spirit, her strength, her spunk, and her heart.

To Your Success,

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