When I took debate in high school, I had a marvelous coach, Mr. Jordan. I had no doubt that he was my biggest supporter; he was also my toughest critic. He pushed me hard. He wouldn't allow me to settle for good enough. He kept coaching me on those little things like hand gestures, body movement, choice of words, using a pause instead of an "um." At the time, it seemed relentless. Now all those things come to me like second nature. Over the years, I have found myself saying a thank you to Mr. Jordan on more than one occasion.

Not everyone on the debate team liked his coaching, however. There were some who thought that he should "go easy on them." Over time, I noticed that Mr. Jordan would spend more time with those students who accepted his coaching. Then those same students who wanted him to "go easy on them" began to complain because they weren't the ones winning tournaments.

Probably most of us prefer to receive positive feedback. I know I do. I also know that sometimes, I need coaching from someone that I trust. I was watching one of the morning shows a few days after the season finale of American Idol and they were interviewing David Cook (this year's winner), and they asked him about how tough it was to deal with Simon Cowell's tough criticism. Cook responded that he didn't have a problem with it at all; if Simon cared enough to take the time to try and help him get better, then he could take the time to listen and evaluate the feedback to see what would work for him. I thought it was a great way to approach feedback: be thankful that someone cares enough to try to help, listen to it, evaluate and see how it fits with you.

The next time you are in a position where you are receiving feedback, how can you pause and remind yourself that they are – in their own way – trying to help you be even better?

To Your Success,

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