Last week was my first week of graduate school. The professors were amazing and the content is incredibly valuable. I am so excited to be learning and growing in this way.

One of my professors is David Cooperrider, the co-founder of Appreciative Inquiry. My mind is swirling with all that he had to say, but one statement really stands out for me. He said that “our words shape our worlds.” The language that we use to talk about ourselves, our condition, our relationships, our careers and our organizations, literally shape what it becomes. Most of us have been trained in the deficit-based approach: what’s wrong and how do I fix it. In other words, what is it that I want to avoid?

The strength-based approach doesn’t ignore weakness, but it doesn’t dwell there. Instead it has a focus on the positive outcome desired. In other words, what do I want to accomplish?

I found myself considering this and how it might work and even if it would work. Then he said something that really made me sit up and take notice. He said that you don’t learn about what it takes to have a happy, successful marriage by studying 100 people who have gotten a divorce. You may learn some things that you shouldn’t do, but would you learn anything that you should do to have a happy marriage? Probably not.

In this spirit, I would like to share with you one question that we used in class. (This doesn’t even begin to scratch the surface of this subject!) The question is this: think of a time in your career when you were thoroughly engaged and using your strengths and really making a contribution. Describe that time: what were you doing, who was involved, what did it lead to, how did you feel? We did this exercise and it was a truly marvelous way to learn about each other and we valued about our own performance. It’s a great question to use with your teams to find out what matters to them.

To Your Success,

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