I was reading through some of my notes regarding the science of the strength-based approach to development and change. I found an interesting statistic that jumped off the page at me:

In high-performance environments, the research shows that there is a 2:1 ratio of inquiry (learning focused questions where you are trying to understand the view of another) versus advocacy (closed position where you are simply trying to convince the other person) type conversation. In low-performance environments, there is a 1:20 ratio: one inquiry (open-learning type questions) for every twenty remarks based on advocacy.

That's stunning. Yet, think of some of the most powerful conversations that you have had. What made them powerful? Was it the exchange of ideas? The collaborative brainstorming? Were you creating something new and better by building off of each other? Now, think of some of the conversations that seemed to go nowhere – fast! These are often characterized by a party digging in their heels, determined to convince us that they are right and we are wrong.

How can you contribute to an environment of high performance? When someone poses an idea, instead of instantly noticing and pointing out what is wrong with the idea, dig a little bit and find out more about the idea. What's good about the idea? What can you use about the idea? What's the intent behind the idea? How can you help this person bring their idea to life?

Many people share with me that they have difficult co-workers or teammates who never seem to listen. Stephen Covey was right when he said that we should, "Seek first to understand." When we truly try to understand the viewpoint of another we are opening the door for them to return that favor.

Before responding to someone's ideas ask yourself: "Are my questions in the vein and spirit of exploration?"

To Your Success,

Read More Success Builders Weekly™
See past issues in the Success Builders Weekly™ Archive.

About Success Builders Weekly™
Success Builders Weekly™ is an email series with short, fun success stories and quotes. To subscribe to Success Builders Weekly™, simply submit your email address with the form in this message or on our web site at http://www.bobbikahler.com/resources/successbuilders/index.php

Reader Feedback
If you have a comment (or even a criticism) about the Success Builders Weekly™, we'd love to hear it!