Master Communicator’s Secrets to Getting Heard


Show Notes

ASLAN – Tom shares the exciting story behind the name of his company, ASLAN.

Relationships – Most of the time, we are never happier than our relationships. Tom discusses how and why he always tries to maintain the best quality in his relationships.

Sales techniques – We discuss how to embed sales techniques to improve our lives throughout the discussion. 

UnReceptive – Tom describes some critical arguments in his just-released book UnReceptive. 

Being Unreceptive – There can be numerous reasons for someone to be unreceptive. Tom shares what he believes as the reasons for someone to be so. 

Validate the views – Until we validate the other person’s point of view, they will never see your point of view. We talk about the significance of validating the other person’s point of view.

Power of word pictures – Tom explains the power of word pictures mentioning one of his personal experiences with his daughter.

Tug of war – We have no control over anybody else. We can only exert influence. Mentioning the above, Tom nicely explains the concept of tug of war.

Connect with Tom:

Website: aslantraining.com/

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/tomstanfill/

Instagram: instagram.com/tostanfill/

UnReceptive: unreceptivebook.com/

Mentioned in the Episode:

Popular by Tinder Baldwin: tindellbaldwin.com/popular/

Unreceptive: A Better Way to Sell, Lead, and Influence, Tom Stanfill: youtube.com/watch?v=zSGfAx5AlTg&t=11s

Are your Customers Unreceptive to your Sales Efforts: youtube.com/watch?v=yi0XBbgr6ak&t=7s

The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe: goodreads.com/book/show/100915.The_Lion_the_Witch_and_the_Wardrobe?from_search=true&from_srp=true&qid=1f9YZyi0hU&rank=1

Bobbi’s Takeaways

I hope that you took away a lot from that interview with Tom.  I personally love how these concepts are as applicable in our work lives as they are in our personal lives.  Here are my three insights for thriving:

  1. You are never happier than your relationships.  That makes me think about what we are doing to nurture and grow those relationships that are most important to us?  Are we on auto-pilot?  Are we being intentional? 
  2. Influence is about an invitation.  When someone leans in and asks us, “So what do you think?” we’ve earned the right to be heard. 
  3. My favorite principle is the Polar Principle:  people are unreceptive to an opposing point of view until they feel heard, understood, and validated.   I think that intuitively, we all get that.  But, let me ask you this:  when was the last time that you felt like you were truly heard, understood, and validated?  And, when was the last time that you gave that gift to someone else?  It is such a powerful concept.  And, we’ve probably all heard it expressed in different ways, like “You have to walk in someone else’s shoes,” right?  Here’s the thing, though, did we remember to take our own shoes off first?  Because if we didn’t, we aren’t taking the trip; we aren’t truly walking in their shoes. If this is something that you want to work on, here’s a shift that is powerful:  release any judgment that you may have and shift to being curious.  You cannot feel both judgment and curiosity at the same time.  What’s important about that is that if someone feels your judgment, they will shut down, and receptivity is diminished even more. 

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An entrepreneur since the age of 34, Bobbi has led workshops for thousands of people, and she has worked with some of the most recognizable brands on the planet.

Entrepreneur, Writer, Leader, Speaker, Life Coach, Avid Athlete, Resilient Survivor.


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