Many of us have been taught to look for flaws. Instead, it is time to start noticing the great things that occur in our lives, even on a tiny scale, and allow ourselves the space for more gratitude. Practicing gratitude and discovering the ideal criteria for measuring success can completely transform our life. My guest today is someone who integrates social and emotional intelligence into all aspects of her life. She serves as the executive director at the Institute for Social and Emotional Intelligence. She is also a coach for social and emotional intelligence. Amy Sargent-Kossoff joins this episode to discuss her extraordinary knowledge and expertise in rethinking and rewriting life stories with emotional intelligence.
Amy’s Story – Amy recounts how she incorporated thankfulness into her life by keeping a gratitude jar and how it completely altered her life.
Negative Experience – Mentioning that most of us tend to look for the negative, Amy demonstrates ways to cope with adverse situations and emotions.
Success – We talk about how our list of shoulds and our success criteria affect us and the importance of continuously redefining success.
Core Values – Highlighting that the method we spend our time reflects our values, we examine how to identify our core values.
Social Intelligence – We explain the distinction between social intelligence and emotional intelligence. In addition, we address the importance of social intelligence in our everyday lives.
Conflicts – Amy discusses how to deal with conflicts while emphasizing the need for self-awareness.
Toxic Positivity – Amy shares her thoughts on the negative labeling of emotions. Moreover, she defines toxic positivity in straightforward terms. Amy’s Work – Amy describes how she assists individuals with the offered courses and assessments.
Connect with Amy:
Mentioned in the Episode
Mentioned in the episode:
VIA Character Strengths Survey: viacharacter.org/
Six Seconds Can Change Your Life: bobbikahler.com/awareness/episode068/
The Happiness Advantage: The Seven Principles of Positive Psychology That Fuel Success and Performance at Work: goodreads.com/book/show/9484114-the-happiness-advantage?from_search=true&from_srp=true&qid=TtVLDyMHFs&rank=1
I hope you took a lot away from that conversation. Here are my 3 insights for thriving:
- I loved the Gratitude Jar! This leads us to scan for what is positive and right with our world instead of scanning for what is wrong or negative. Amy and I talked a bit after recording and she mentioned that when you finish jotting down the thing you are grateful for, to fold the paper up as this is kind of putting a bow on it and it will open you up for the next experience. She also said that the visual of seeing the jar fill up will be motivating and inspiring to you throughout the year.
- Get in touch with your core values. The ViaSurvey is a great way to go about that. I loved Amy’s approach of after identifying your top values to look back on your calendar and see whether or not they’ve shown up on your calendar and in your life.
- All emotions are valid; not all behaviors are valid. We do have a choice in how we act. Relative to conflict, I loved Amy’s advice of noticing what conflict feels like early on in your body so that you can recognize it early and address it BEFORE it becomes a big problem and large conflict. I hear a lot of people say, “oh I hate conflict” or “I don’t want to talk to so and so because I’m not good at handling conflict.” My framing on this is that if we are having a conversation, it doesn’t have to be conflict. But, to pull that off, we have to intervene early. I learned that one the hard way!