How to Lean in With Empathy in the Face of Bad Behavior (#183)

• Many of us frame conflict as “this is where people get hurt” and that leads us to respond in fear-based ways. 
• To deal with conflict, we need to:
  • Ask ourselves, “What do I need to have happen in this conversation that will also strengthen the relationship?
  • Identify where we can compromise and what’s non-negotiable. 
  • Be kind to ourselves first.  We can’t give kindness to others without giving it to ourselves first. 
• Kristin describes self-care as places and activities where you learn about yourself AND it renews you. 
• The #1 thing we can do to de-escalate a situation is to extend empathy. 
• For most of us, our “threat assessors” are busted and this is why we get triggered so easily. 
• We need to stop being what Kristine calls, “A raw nerve of reactivity.”

Resources:

Connect with Kristine:

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/kristinemariescott/

Website: seattleconflictresolution.com/

Mentioned in the episode: 

Stalling for Time: My Life as an FBI Hostage Negotiator: goodreads.com/en/book/show/41017722

The Energy of Money: A Spiritual Guide to Financial and Personal Fulfillment: goodreads.com/en/book/show/81109