My guest today is a multiple gunshot survivor. She outwitted her attacker who had invaded her home and he was intent on killing her. She has turned that experience into her purpose, helping other survivors of violence, find their way back to a place of wholeness. Her name is Jenny Jetson, and I cannot wait for you to meet her.
Jenny Jetson on creating a peaceful place (clip from episode 21)
Jenny Jetson on ways to lift yourself out of a negative space. (clip from episode 21)
Jenny Jetson on your purpose. You survived for a reason (clip from episode 21)
Contact Jenny Jetson
Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/jenny.jetson.3990
Twitter – https://twitter.com/jenny_jetson
Web site – https://www.iamjennyjetson.com/
Email – firstname.lastname@example.org
I hope that you found that conversation with Jenny helpful. As Jenny and I were talking, I was thinking about how, thankfully, many of us have not and will not face the type of traumatic and violent event that she did. However, 2020 has been its own trauma for a lot of people. It made me think about how we can learn from Jenny’s experience and apply it to our own journey.
As 2020 comes to a close, here are some of my thoughts.
- Growth and change are possible after a traumatic event. Jenny’s story illustrates something that’s very important for us growth and change doesn’t happen on its own. As she said, we have to take responsibility for our own healing and recovery.
In her case, she educated herself on how others coped, who had faced things similar to her and the effects of that importantly. She also researched things that she found didn’t work for her. And that’s okay too. I think that’s part of taking that responsibility. What works and what doesn’t and how do I put that together for myself?
- The real story begins. When the traumatic event ends, this was one of the most powerful aspects of the story. To me. We have a tendency to think that once the event is over, everything just goes back to normal. But from Jenny story and my own experience with the massive fire out here this fall, the end of the event is simply the beginning of the rest of your life and figuring out what’s next. I loved how she put it. How do I put Humpty Dumpty back together again?
- Trauma is an unexpected life event. Now this might be a duh moment for me, but I’ve never really heard anyone express it like that before. And yet when I think about it, it makes perfect sense. It’s an unexpected life event that disrupts the system of our lives.
- Sometimes it can be hard to create your own blueprint for coping. In Jenny’s case, she didn’t really have any peers who had shared what she did. And I think this gets at what many of my guests have spoken about this year: find others who have been on your path before you, and learn from them. From that, you can then create a blueprint that makes sense for you just as Jenny had to.
- After experiencing a trauma, focus on the basics. First, nutrition, proper sleep, caring for our basic physical needs. Then branch out. I loved her hack for managing stress. What needs to happen right now? Is it truly something that has to be dealt with today? If not, find a way to set it aside. I have found myself using this hack over the last few weeks, as things have been super busy and there’s all this stuff I want to get to and get done. And the way I’ve worked it out for myself as this: if it needs to be done today or even in the next few days, great, I’ll get it done. And if it doesn’t need to be done, but I have plenty of margin to do it now, and I feel the energy to do it now. Terrific. If not, it can probably wait a day or two, instead of adding more stress to the pile.
- I thought it was a very powerful part of the conversation when Jenny said, in the past, holding on to anger has made her feel powerful. And now she’s come to realize it takes away her power when she holds onto the anger, because the anger, as she said, really only hurts us.
About 12 years ago or so I read a powerful book called, The Dance of Anger, and I highly recommended. One of my major takeaways from the book is that anger is merely an emotion. It’s not negative. It’s not positive. It is just an emotion. It is a data point. And when we come to see anger this way, we can learn what it has to teach us. And then we can move on. It’s not a bad emotion on its own. It’s what we do with the anger that often makes it negative or harmful.
- She spoke of forgiveness as something that we do for ourselves as a way of setting ourselves free. And I know that this can be hard, but the thing is when we don’t forgive, we are truly only hurting ourselves. The person that we are upset with might not even know it. And they may not even care if we are upset. So we forgive as a way to heal ourselves.
- I liked how Jenny was adamant that this wasn’t going to ruin her life or cause her to cease to be who she is. I also thought it was really important that she said that we might be different after the event and that’s okay. How could we be the same after something traumatic? But the important part was that she knew that she had to find a way to not just survive it, but to thrive by finding the best version of herself.
- All the pieces that we need to recover are already inside of us. We just need to put them together in a way that makes sense for us. I think that that is an immensely comforting thought as we move forward.
Again, those were just some of my takeaways, and I hope that you found valuable takeaways of your own.
On a different and exciting note, the new year is fast approaching. And as you know, that’s the time when we rush to set goals and resolutions for the coming year. Sadly, by late January, those goals and resolutions too often begin gathering dust.
So to fight the gathering dust bunnies, I’m putting together a free guide on how we can recognize if we are falling prey to one of the biggest derailers of our goals, the Just-Wait Voice. The Just-Wait Voice is that voice that shows up inside of us, that plants doubt and hesitation in our mind, I’ve coached well over 3000 people in my career, and I’ve seen this insidious little voice show up and whisper doubt in our ear just as we are about to act. And so instead of acting on our goals, we decide to wait. Indefinitely. As a coach who has seen it so times I have to tell you that I hate, hate, hate that voice, and I want to help combat it with what I’ve learned over the years. So watch for that in the coming weeks.
Again, this has been the UnYielded Podcast where we are committed to bringing stories and guests who can help us all live more fulfilled and authentic lives. If you found it helpful, please consider leaving us an honest review on Apple as that is one of the best ways that you can help us share this message.
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