Show Notes for Christine Green
Mentioned in this Episode
Anatomy of Caring https://www.amazon.com/Anatomy-Caring-Christine-Green/dp/0945385358/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=
Authentic Spirituality https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0945385420?creativeASIN=0945385420&linkCode=w00&linkId=SAPWSHVVP6LTQ44V&ref_=as_sl_pc_qf_sp_asin_til&tag=revchri-20
A Caregiver’s Journal: Insights and Inspirations for Caregivers https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0945385455/ref=dbs_a_def_rwt_bibl_vppi_i3
Caring for the Caregiver handout - https://drive.google.com/file/d/181_niPd8JiYRVmvi_IsiJyO-6k1LeKDj/view
I hope that you loved that conversation with Christine. When I talk with her, I always find myself smiling and feeling inspired. Her are my takeaways.
I was really touched when Christine spoke of her friend who felt bad because her prayers for Lawrence were not answered. And it's easy to think that our prayers failed, but Christine spoke of the three levels of healing, which I found comforting.
Level one was the condition is released from the patient. The second one is the patient is at peace with the condition and the third one, the patient is released from the condition. For some reason, I found that very comforting .
I think that all of us want to say something helpful when, when, when someone that we know and love is in pain. But the question is what to say that will be truly helpful and maybe won't make things worse. And I really liked Christine's advice to say things like you are so strong or I admire your strength. And, and it makes me think about how validating these types of statements are and how that allows us to draw strength from them.
This could be top of mind for me because it made me reflect on when we had to evacuate our home due to the East Troublesome Fire for two weeks. It was a fairly shocking event. We got the notification that we had to leave immediately. We saw the firemen and the policemen race into our area.
And then as we were, we were driving out for 15 miles on the road, we could see the fire approaching us and it was approaching rapidly. And those are images that really stick in your mind in, and it also took us almost a week to learn if our house had survived.
And we heard from dozens and dozens and dozens of people, and I know that every single person who reached out, they wanted to say something comforting and that was touching ,and the comments that were most helpful were the ones that allowed me to draw strength were along the lines of what Christine recommended.
They were things that sounded like, “I admire your strength and your optimism,” or “I'm inspired by the grace and gratitude with which you're handling this.” So I think that Christine's advice on this is spot on, and it's something that I want to make sure I remember in the future so I can be better at comforting others when they need it.
When loss happens, grieve, it don't operate over it. I think it can be so tempting to try to power through it and operate over it. I think we do that. We've all probably done that. And I suspect that by doing that, we simply prolong it.
When being there for someone who is going through grief or a trauma, just be there. Don't judge. Don't have expectations. Don't ask anything of them. Just be there for them when they are ready, and that might take them a while to be ready, just as Christine described, and that's okay.
Something that I deeply believe in and teach myself is what Christine said when she talked about how everyone wants to be seen, heard, and appreciated, because that is how we are validated as a human, as a person in an upcoming podcast. Another guest explores how the most invalidating thing in the world is when you're not seen. Especially by your own community, your own family, your own tribe, if you will. And it makes me wonder how can we be more intentional with truly and fully seeing others in our everyday life? Ironically, I suspect that I think we can often overlook those who are closest to us.
I loved the discussion on the difference between responding and reacting, specifically when Christine said that reacting in haste or anger, it gives them our power. And by doing that, we become powerless. And then we can't do the things that we need to do.
As a society, we have experienced a lot of loss this year and that when we don't acknowledge that, and we don't truly grieve it, it shows up in other ways in our lives, like as anger or not feeling well or being tired or in any other number of ways. And it seems like the key is to recognize what's happening and to grieve the loss that we are experiencing. And I also loved what she said. We don't have to face it alone. Find someone to talk to. It can be a friend, a peer, a coach, a counselor, whatever, but don't try to do it by yourself.
And this is a huge one. The opposite of taking responsibility is blaming. I loved her story about her old boyfriend who got her the tickets for that seminar. I love that story.
Not so much a takeaway, but I truly hope that you'll check out her guide, Caring for the Caregiver. I downloaded it myself. I found it very helpful, and I hope you will too. So again, I hope that you enjoyed my conversation with Christine and her combination of grace and ease.
Don't forget. You can check out my eclectic, but essential leadership booklist. http://www.unyielded.net/leadershipbooklist. This has been the UnYielded podcast where we are committed to bring in stories and guests who can help us all live more fulfilled and authentic lives.
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