I was recently given feedback that I am “too hard” on myself. This was from a person who doesn’t know me very well. I asked her what led her to that conclusion. She replied: Because you notice your mistakes.
This is where things get interesting: She is 100% correct: I do notice my mistakes.
She is only about 15% correct that I am too hard on myself.
Just because I notice my mistakes doesn’t mean that I am too hard on myself. What determines whether or not I’m too hard on myself is what I SAY to myself and how I FEEL about myself when I notice that I’ve made a mistake.
Let me explain. We are talking about a critical distinction and that’s the distinction between discernment and judgment.
If I notice a mistake, that’s discernment: a mistake was made. And, sometimes it’s not even a mistake, per se, but the opportunity to do something different and possibly better in the future. That’s healthy.
If I notice a mistake and berate myself for it, that’s judgment. That’s unhealthy.
Tune in to this episode to learn more about the distinction between discernment and judgment and why it is so critical.