Grit, Not Balanced by Grace, Can Take Away Your Joy And Enthusiasm (#212)

Grit, Not Balanced by Grace, Can Take Away Your Joy And Enthusiasm (#212)

When grit goes unchecked, it can send us into dangerous territory.

For many of us, grit is a super power. We can push through anything -- and we are proud of that. And it helps us succeed. When grit goes unchecked and it is never balanced with grace towards ourselves, it can send us into dangerous territory.

Bobbi: Welcome to UnYielded thriving no matter what. I am your host, Bobbi Kahler. Your life is your story to write, no one else’s. This show will empower you to be the author of your own life. Let’s pick up the pen and let’s get started.


Bobbi: Have you ever had one of those moments in life where you look back and you think, what? What was I thinking? On October 21, 2020, the massive East Troublesome Creek fire tore through our neighborhood. It consumed around 198,000 acres, and when it came through our neighborhood, it was burning at a rate of 90 football fields per minute. During the evacuation, as I was driving on the only road out and I could see the fire approaching, the thought entered my head, are we going to make it out before the fire gets to the road? Right? I mean, it was kind of scary, believe it or not. My next thought was, oh, man, I’m supposed to have a coaching client tomorrow morning at 07:00 a.m.. I need to get a hold of someone to let them know that I might not be able to make it. What? I mean, seriously, it is times like this when I look back and I think, what were you thinking? Within two days while living out of suitcases at a friend’s condo and not knowing yet if we still had a house or not? I had made a makeshift office up out of this spare room at this condo, and I was running and conducting client calls as though nothing had happened. Again. What was I thinking? Six days after the fire? Well, still being evacuated and still waiting to learn if our house had survived. I got the news that my dad’s cancer was back. And at first they thought it might be terminal, and thank God, thank God they were wrong. And we had a couple more years with dad. But you know what I did the next day? That’s right. I showed up for more client calls. I was praised for this. I was praised for this by coworkers, by clients, a couple of the leaders at the company that I partnered with. I was strong and resilient, and I showed up no matter what. Here’s the thing. I should not have been praised. Someone, myself included, first and foremost, should have been smart enough and brave enough to say, are you taking care of yourself? Or how are you taking care of yourself? You just went through, like, the second largest fire in Colorado history, and I believe it was the second fastest moving in US. History, and you’re still pushing through this. Some things maybe we shouldn’t be pushing through them. And I’m saying that even though pushing through things is one of my superpowers. What I can say is that on the outside, I looked fine, but on the inside, looking back, I know I was really hurting and worse, I think I was scared something that many of my guests here on this podcast have talked about is that if our trauma cannot be ignored, it has to be healed. Otherwise it takes a toll on us. And true, on the outside man, I kept all of my commitments. But on the inside, the zest and the enthusiasm that I once had was fading. And I knew it. And I could not stop it. And this might be a big surprise, but guess what? My solution was to work harder, to buck up, to be strong, to push through. And that’s the biggest bunch of nonsense that I can imagine. We need to start taking care of ourselves. We need to start prioritizing self care over work. Because here’s the thing no matter how much we love our work, if we don’t take care of ourselves, guess what? We can’t show up for our work. We cannot show up for our work and be our best if we’re not taking care of ourselves. And again, I’m not saying to give up on our work because, hey, that’s great, I get that. It’s how I’ve operated. I always want to be my very best. It’s why I’ve succeeded it so much. But does giving your all really have to mean giving away everything until there’s nothing left for you or those around you? I don’t think so. And here’s the thing it is not a sustainable way to work. We weren’t put on this planet to live that way. I believe that life is meant to be more than that. Life throws a lot at us. And not even the big things, just the everyday things. A lot comes at us. So I think for me right now. What I’m really reflecting on and really focused on is what am I doing on a daily basis to care for myself?


So that wraps up this episode. I want to thank you for listening and for tuning in and for subscribing and sharing these episodes with others. I hope that you have a terrific week and that you continue to rise and thrive. You.

Subscribe to the Find
Your Forward Newsletter

Find Your Forward is my bi-weekly newsletter to move you forward when you are stuck, facing a crossroads, or adapting to a fast-changing world. No matter where you are, there is always a way forward.

Please enable JavaScript in your browser to complete this form.