Is It Possible to Love Monday Mornings Again? (#213)

Is It Possible to Love Monday Mornings Again? (#213)

Somewhere along the line dreading Monday mornings became the norm. But does it really have to be that way?

Somewhere along the line dreading Monday mornings became the norm. But does it really have to be that way? Should it be that way? Or does your life deserve better than that? My guest, Jerry Aliberti, made the courageous choice to go after more than that for his life. Tune in to this episode for inspiration and insights that will help you on your journey. Among the highlights from this episode:
  1. We are the story that we tell ourselves. Those stories are written over the course of our lifetime, and we need to be careful about which ones we believe and repeat because they become our reality.
  2. At a point, Jerry realized that other people were the ones making decisions that affected the quality of his life and the quality of his family’s life. And he knew he had to change that.
  3. Jerry said that “comfort almost destroyed him.” It can be so easy to be lured into what’s comfortable and then stay there. I loved Jerry’s awareness of how he had stopped learning and growing and that to change his life, he’d have to step out of his comfort zones. It’s amazing how many times that comes up in these interviews.
  4. Finally, and maybe most importantly, why have we bought into the notion that it’s okay and acceptable to dread Mondays? What if you didn’t have to?
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[00:02] Bobbi: Welcome to UnYielded Thriving No Matter What where we talk about how to make your next chapter in life your best chapter. I’m your host, Bobbi Kahler, and I believe that the best is yet to come. My guest today is the owner of Pro L, a company that helps civil contractors who are challenged with poor cash flow, inconsistent project execution to create sustainable project success and profitability. He has worked for 20 years with many leading New York City roadway and bridge contractors working in some of the toughest and most demanding environments in the world. The intense grind, long commutes, and lack of flexibility pushed him into what he calls his midlife awakening. His belief is that we need to wake up on Monday mornings and be happy and smile for the week ahead. He is passionate about helping other construction business owners develop and build the sustainable business of their dreams while being the greatest leaders that they are meant to be. His name is Jerry Aliberti and I cannot wait to share his story. Jerry, welcome to the podcast.

[01:21] Jerry : Bobbi thank you for having me.

[01:23] Bobbi: Well, why don’t we dive in? Can you just tell us a little bit about who you are and what you do?

[01:28] Jerry : Sure, no problem. So my name is Jerry Aliberti. I’m a New York native. I was born and raised just north of New York City. So I’m in the suburbs about 20 miles north right now. And I’m principal of Pro SL. And I help heavy civil contractors who were challenged with poor cash flow and inconsistent project success to create a more sustainable project execution strategy and profitability.

[01:59] Bobbi: So completely in the construction area. Right?

[02:03] Jerry : Yeah.

[02:05] Bobbi: And that’s your background, right?

[02:07] Jerry : Oh, that’s my background. So I’ve been in the heavy civil construction industry for 20 years now, and now more than ever, we have this $1.2 trillion worth of work coming in and I’m seeing just a ton of work pouring in. And we have a lack of skilled workers, both trades and management. And it’s a fantastic opportunity for a lot of those who aren’t so much into public works to get into public works where I can help them as well, or those that are in the public works who are looking. To grow and jump on all this opportunity where I will help them with that strategy to grow as well and train their teams and onboard the right personnel as well.

[02:47] Bobbi: Because that’s important. Heavy civil engineering. I can’t say that. Right. I think I have an idea of what that is. But could you give us like an example of what those projects would be?

[02:56] Jerry : Yeah, so it’s basically railways, highways, bridges, utility work, excavation work, concrete work, foundation work, and things along those natures.

[03:07] Bobbi: Very cool. Very cool. All right, so let’s shift a little bit because this is tied to your story because you kind of went through what you called a midlife awakening, right?

[03:18] Jerry : That’s it.

[03:20] Bobbi: Okay.

[03:21] Jerry : Midlife crisis. I like to use easier words because you are who you are because of the story you tell yourself. Right.

[03:29] Bobbi: Oh my God, you’re so right about that. And I love that framing of it too. The Midlife Awakening so, yeah, tell us a little bit about yours.

[03:37] Jerry : Yes, again, I’ve been in my career for 20 years, and I would say the first ten years were absolutely euphoric. I went through the system. I went to school, I took architecture in high school, I tried engineering in college, I switched back to architecture. I got a degree in architecture. And then I went on to actually get a job back into an engineering type firm. So we would be building highways and bridges. And the first ten years were just absolutely euphoric. I mean, I was one of the very few people who on a Sunday night, couldn’t wait to go to work on Monday morning for ten solid years. It was great. And then just something started to change. I just wasn’t as excited anymore. Something was completely just taking over my body at that point. I was in my lower I was approaching my mid 30s. So I left my first employer. After 14 years, I went to another employer. I said, you know what, this isn’t working out as well. I knew what the first couple of months, I went from the field back to the office, and then I worked for another contractor, and that was going okay for about a year or two. I tried to relocate out of New York. That wasn’t working out as well. And I started getting to a point where I said, you know what, every decision that I make has to get approved by someone who has no idea who I am. And I got to figure out a way to take life and live life on my own terms, rather than asking permission asking permission to take days off and asking permission to where am I going to report the next day? So I think this is what was happening was I started approaching, as I call it, the midlife Awakening, around my mid thirty s. Right. And I started to realize, you know what? I’m tired of waking up every single day having no flexibility in my life, driving hours to and from work, always taking orders from somebody who, in my opinion, who pretends to have the best interest at heart, and they really don’t. The only person who can really have the best interest of your life is yourself. Right. So I had other people making decisions for myself that impacted my family. And I’m married with two kids. I have a nine year old and an eleven year old. And they got to a point where I was just no longer present at home. I was away from home 60 hours a week. I was coming home. Although I was physically there, I wasn’t mentally present with them. And it was just so difficult to really be a good dad and to really be a good husband as well. So I got to a point where I would say it was about a month I’m sorry, not a month ago, about a year ago, where I just couldn’t wake up in the morning anymore. I couldn’t wake up in the morning. I was so depressed. I was nervous to go to bed at night because I just didn’t want to wake up in the morning. And that’s how bad it got. I said to myself, okay, it was extremely bad. That in itself was putting so much stress on me, even when I did wake up, because I did have a family to feed. My wife doesn’t really work. So I had all the pressure on myself to show up to work because I needed the money, I needed the income, and I just knew I really needed to make a major change. I was never a bench warmer with any company I worked for. I was always on the starting lineup. I was always that person that everybody wanted to work with, right? Whether it was the older generation or the younger generation. I was raised by baby boomers. I was trained by Generation X. I was born at the threshold of the millennial generation and Generation X, but I was trained by Generation X. I was training millennials, and now I’m raising Generation Z, right? I’m this unicorn in this generation, in this time that I was born. And I’m so good at what I do. I’m really good at running jobs. I’m really good at estimating jobs. And I said to myself, you know what? Now’s the time to start betting on myself and believing in myself. And I took that leap. I got a couple of good opportunities that provided that segue into the next phase of my life, and here I am. I actually want to wake up in the morning now.

[08:10] Bobbi: God. And isn’t that a good feeling?

[08:13] Jerry : It’s an amazing feeling. Listen, it really is a roller coaster ride. Owning your own business is no walk in the park. And I actually posted about this on LinkedIn not too long ago, a couple of days ago, and I got some really great feedback on it. One of my old coaches told me, starting a business or running a business is like getting punched in the face every single day. You got to have an extremely strong why of why you’re doing it, because you’re going to give up. And my why is, well, what’s my alternative? To go back and get a job and lose that sense of fulfillment and that passion again, and then I can’t wake up again in the morning. So I have to make this work, and I got to do it for my kids as well, and I got to do it for my marriage as well.

[09:01] Bobbi: Gosh, Jerry, there’s so much in there that I can relate to, and that I think that the listeners relate to, because I think that we’ve I don’t know, maybe maybe we all haven’t been there. Maybe it’s just people. I know we’ve been there, but it’s that when you start dreading getting up in the morning, something’s wrong. Man. It doesn’t have to be that way. I’ve told this story on another episode, but it was years ago. I was working at a law firm because I was in Chicago. I was paying my way through school, and I kept telling myself, it’s not so bad, it’s not so bad, it’s not so bad. This was like, in 1991, something like that. And on the way to work, I was crossing the street and I had the light. I had the walk signal, and a cab ran the light, and he hit the back of my trench coat. It kind of pushed me. Like, it turned me a little bit in the direction. It didn’t hit me, it just hit my trench coat. And my first thought, Jerry, was, ****, had he hit me, I wouldn’t have had to go to work today.

[10:05] Jerry : Wow.

[10:06] Bobbi: I took two more steps, and I’m like, okay, it’s time to make a change. And within a week, I had a new job because I’m like, life is too short. If you think getting hit by a speeding cab is a better alternative than going to work, you need something new. There are a lot of things that you said I kind of want to go back to.

[10:24] Jerry : Sure.

[10:26] Bobbi: You said at first you were euphoric the first several years, whatever, and then you said something changed. Was it just that realization, like, of the oversight, the pressure of always having someone like, I don’t know, always looking over your shoulder or asking permission, like you say, was that what really changed?

[10:52] Jerry : So, several things. Construction is very stressful, as most people know. It’s very chaotic, especially when you’re working on highways, roadways and bridges. You’re out in the middle of traffic. You’re causing a lot of traffic in your middle of New York City, and you’re getting cursed out all day long. And not even that the business is so consuming. It’s tough to say that it’s a sustainable career for 40 years, although many people make it a sustainable career now. This is what I started to notice was at the time, I was still in my 20s, just hitting my thirty s. I just started having my own kids. I got married. I married my high school sweet, I’m sorry. I married my high school sweetheart. So after ten years, we got married. I was 27 years old. I had my first child at 29. And your priorities in life start to change. And I was looking at those that were at the back end of their career, like in their 50s, approaching sixty s, and they weren’t happy. The majority of them just were not happy. They had terrible marriages, if not divorced, they didn’t have great relationships with their kids and it was so many. And I said to myself, wow, now I’m no longer capable of working all these nights and weekends because now I have my own family. And I think that was the transition of my mindset. Whereas where am I going? Do I want to end up like how they are? Or do I want to start making changes now? And it takes many years. A lot of people, you read up on all these LinkedIn Pulse and a lot of books where go through steps one, two and three and you’ll have the greatest impact in your life. It’s not that easy. It takes years and it takes making decisions to move in a certain direction and to fail many times before you start realizing what’s working and what’s not working. So in my early thirty s, I just started to have this feeling that started overcoming me. Like where am I going? Where am I headed? And it took several years to start making some changes and I started making those changes and I thought maybe it was leaving my first company. And then I started realizing, you know what? This isn’t it. It’s something a lot deeper and stronger to this. I tried moving to Florida for a couple of years and my former employee just egged me on for a long they led me on for a long time and finally said, well we can’t really do it and if we do you got to take this massive pay cut. Well that’s a problem, right? I really realized that every decision in my life was based on someone else’s approval and that needed to change.

[13:39] Bobbi: Another thing is to Jerry when you were talking there and some of the other things you’ve said no one’s going to care more about you and your life and your family than what you do.

[13:48] Jerry : Sure.

[13:49] Bobbi: And that’s not even a bad thing. But that’s the reality. And that’s one of the things about you’re, right? Starting a business, it’s not easy. I mean I’ve been at this I started my business in 2000. There have been times over the years where I’m like, god, it could have been easier doing something else. But the flexibility and the time, freedom and knowing that I get to make the contribution that I want to make, that’s a huge deal. And the other thing you said too, with the people who post on LinkedIn, just do these three steps and instant whatever is going to come to you. Nothing’s instant. We were talking about this before we started recording. So much of success is simply putting the work in, being consistent and showing up.

[14:38] Jerry : And understanding that you will fail. Here’s the thing too is a lot of people like to use failure a lot. And to me it’s more of a mistake than a failure because you only really fail when you give up. That’s right. So as you continue through your journey. You got to start someplace, and you got to keep moving and moving and moving. And like how we discussed before we started recording was I’m constantly putting myself out of my comfort zone. At this point, there’s not a single day where I’m not doing something that’s completely outside of my comfort zone. And that’s another thing, too, is I stayed comfortable for so many years, and I think I really started to realize that that was actually destroying me. It was destroying me because I wasn’t learning. I felt like I almost stopped learning at some point.

[15:32] Bobbi: That’s right.

[15:32] Jerry : Although there’s so much to learn on a construction project, for some reason, I just felt like I stopped learning. And I felt it. And it’s a feeling that you can’t really explain. Back before I got married, everyone was like I was asking everybody, how do I know when is the right time to get married? And everyone was like, Jerry, you’re just going to feel it. It’s a feeling that nobody can really explain to you. You’re just going to know when it’s time. And you know what? It was 100% true. I just started to feel it. It was a feeling that came over that said, you know what? Now is the time to do it. It’s the same thing like any other major change. But here’s the thing, too, is if you’re looking to make the leap from salary to become a consultant or a solopreneur, it’s like having a kid. You’re never really going to be ready. You got to do it. You got to do it. You got to make sure. You got to weigh your pros and you got to weigh your cons, and you got to do it. And that’s what I did. And you got to just close your eyes and take the leap and have no regrets. Have no regrets. I mean, what’s the worst that could happen? You go back and you get yourself another job.

[16:39] Bobbi: That’s right. And you know what? I love, too? What you’re saying, and they’re like, you just take the action. And even if you fail, it doesn’t really matter because you’re learning. And I just heard this recently, and I don’t know who said it. I hate that when that happens. But someone said if you wait until until you’re ready, it’s too late. Because a lot of things you just have to start and you’ll figure it out. Something I wanted to ask you, too, or explore a little bit. It sounds like even in your early 30s, late twenty s, you started to have a great sense of awareness. Like you’re watching the people who are older on the project saying, wait a minute, is this really for me? So I know that are there questions? I know that when we were messaging before, like, questions that someone should be asking themselves if they’re thinking, man, is this path right for me? Or if they’re having that midlife awakening, what should people be asking themselves?

[17:44] Jerry : First things first is when you wake up on Monday morning, are you happy? Are you happy to get dressed? Are you happy to go take that Commute? Or if you’re working from home, are you happy to open up your computer in the morning and do what you’re doing? I mean, that’s the first thing. Now, happiness, there’s so much that’s part of that equation, to become happy. Right. You want a sense of fulfillment, which is kind of what I’m talking about right now. But you also want to try to find your purpose as well. That’s a large part of my journey right now. I truly, genuinely want to help people. Right? So for so many years, for 20 years, I was really helping someone’s, bottom line, and that’s it. Their profits. Now I kind of want to have I want to build a business around how do I help an individual or individuals, right? So for me, in construction, to be successful in construction requires a change in mindset as well. If every morning you’re waking up saying, I don’t want to solve any problems, I don’t want anybody coming into my office trailer and driving me crazy and I just don’t want to deal with anybody, well, then you’re going to be in for a long, long career because you know what? Your job as a construction project manager is to solve problems. Your job is to deal with people. I mean, a lot of it might be just babysitting or just dealing with community complaints and so on. So when I started to change that mindset, my job became a lot better because I really started to understand why I’m doing what I’m doing and why people are coming to me. Right? People are coming to me because they want me to answer those or solve those problems for them. So I’m kind of going off my apologies. But one, you need to be able to wake up and know that what you’re doing is having an impact, whether it’s not just to earn a living. It goes above and beyond money. They say money doesn’t make you happy. I mean, listen, money does make a lot of life easier, right? It really does. But it does at the same time. It’s not the entire equation.

[20:07] Bobbi: Not at all. I love that, though. Are you happy on Monday morning? Because I think we have gotten to a point where we’re just accepting that we have to dread Monday mornings.

[20:19] Jerry : Right. It’s amazing because that’s social media and that’s how people are marketing themselves, too, to kind of draw you and hook you into what their services are. I probably should add that I did read a couple of books that really helped me along this journey. There’s the Middle Passage by Dr. James Hollis. And then there’s a Man Search for Meaning by Victor Frankel. That is an amazing and those were great books for me. I mean, they’re not easy reading. Actually, I shouldn’t say that I read the books. I actually listened to the books right. Because I was commuting so much. I listened to those books a couple of times, and those were some really impactful books for me.

[21:00] Bobbi: Yeah. Oh, my goodness, man. Search for meaning. I listened to it as well because I love the work of Victor Frankel. And, oh, my God, that book just stays with you. Like, it kind of haunts you in a way.

[21:15] Jerry : Right. And then one more book that kind of goes to what you said before. It’s called the big leap by Gay Hendrix. And basically, it’s about, well, when you find your zone of genius, when you find that skill that people really need in their life to change their life, and you get to that zone of genius, how do you stay? There without your mindset, without your limiting beliefs. Kind of dragging you out of that happy state and bringing you back to that more humble state. But you deserve to be in that happy state, right, because you’re having a major impact on other people’s lives, so why not be happy about it? But there’s these limiting beliefs that we’re raised on and that we have throughout our life that kind of just draw us back. They come at the worst times, and they bring us back to this not so happy state.

[22:06] Bobbi: That’s right. And that was the zone of genius. That was the book.

[22:10] Jerry : No, that’s called the big leap, Hendrix. Yeah.

[22:14] Bobbi: Nice. Okay, so the Zone of Genius, can you speak a little bit more to the limiting beliefs? Because we all have them and they affect us all, and the more that we can become aware of how they can affect us, the better chance we have of combating them. Can you speak more to that?

[22:31] Jerry : Sure. So I guess I kind of got to go back a little bit to my childhood. My parents are Italian immigrants. They moved here in the 1960s when they were teenagers. They came from very poor families. Right. Like most immigrants, they came here for a better life. They met in the Bronx, New York. That was like the little Italy of the Bronx. Married, of course, and then they had three boys, and I’m the youngest of the three boys. And, you know, my father had three jobs. As as you know, he had three jobs for for most of his career. And, you know, we grew up in in a two family house. I’m the youngest of three boys. My brothers and I shared one room together. So although we had a very loving family, very big Italian family, very loving family, I grew up around a lot of chaos. Again, it was three boys just being raised, going through puberty, just all in one room, and it was very chaotic to me. It was always being tense. Right. And then also you had limiting beliefs as well. Right. So my father always took the safe route, and he admits to it today. Luckily, my father’s still around. He’s had quite a bit of heart surgeries over the past 1015 years, so he’s still around, and he opens up a lot, too. And for him, it was always the conservative route, and I felt that I was always taking that safe route too. Right. Entrepreneurship is not for people like me. That’s for other people, I’m not that good enough. Right? And then again, it kind of just went into, okay, well, I’m going to conform to what everybody else is doing. They go to college, and then they get a great job, and they stay safe. For me, my limiting beliefs were part of that was impostor syndrome, that I wasn’t good enough. Who’s going to listen to me? And then you start realizing, you know what? The past 1520 years, I started running my own jobs. I’m really good at what I do. Well, why not help smaller contractors? I’ve been working for such large contractors for so many years, 100 to a billion dollar year contractor. Why not start helping smaller contractors improve their strategies, improve their business, and help them grow? And that’s what I’ve been doing, and I’ve been doing great at it. So part of my limiting beliefs that kept me from making this leap was just impostor syndrome, just being scared. And you need to have a better relationship with money as well. I hope that answers your question.

[25:22] Bobbi: Yeah, well, I think it relates back to something you said near the very beginning when we were talking about midlife awakening versus midlife crisis, and you said, we are the story that we tell ourselves. So if you tell yourself that story, well, entrepreneurship, it’s not for me, or who am I to have my own business or that’s for other people, then we live into those stories.

[25:44] Jerry : Right? And I also found myself waking up every morning, automatically starting my morning with negative thoughts. Again, I follow Dr. Joe Dispenza a lot, and I listen to a lot of what he says. And again, it goes back to what we talked about before. It doesn’t happen overnight. It takes a long time, and you need to recondition yourself and get rid of the preconditioned thoughts that you always had for so long, and it takes a long time to recondition yourself. And there’s exercises. I started journaling not too long ago. I read a lot about the subconscious mind and how to recondition your subconscious mind, because for the first seven years of your life and Dr. Joe Dispenser talks about this a lot the first seven years of your life, your subconscious mind is recording everything that it’s hearing, even though you can’t consciously respond to everything that you’re hearing. Your subconscious mind is recording everything that you’re hearing and that you’re listening to. And for the first seven years, it becomes conditioned. It becomes pre programmed, and that pre programmed subconscious mind carries with you for the rest of your life. And it takes until about 30 to 35 years old to really understand your preconditioned thoughts. And I think that’s when my midlife awakening started to happen. Like, okay, well, what got me to where I am today isn’t going to get me to the next 30 years. Isn’t going to get me to that next 30 years. So I need to start changing my mindset. I need to start changing who I’m surrounded with, which is very difficult to do when you’re working for somebody. Right. Because you’re following instructions all day long. And this is the path that I’ve been on. And it’s been five, six years. I’m into my forty s now and I’m making some major changes. My oldest is approaching high school and I told my wife, listen, I want a remote job site. I’m sorry. I want a remote career where I can work however, whenever, and with whomever I want. Because I’ve worked with a lot of miserable people and they brought me down and they ruined a lot of my weekends. And I’m done having ruined weekends. I really am done having ruined weekends. But to me, it’s going to be harder before it gets easier. But it’s different because now I can control my stress, right?

[28:16] Bobbi: That’s right.

[28:17] Jerry : In the past, all the people were controlling my stress. Now I could control my stress.

[28:21] Bobbi: Yeah, but again, it’s that awareness of because that can be hard because there are things that make us successful. And to say, wow, what I’ve relied on to become successful isn’t going to get me to where I want to go. That can be a very scary place to be. Right. It’s amazing that I always love it when anyone is willing to make those kind of changes because it goes back to something that you said earlier, the comfort zone. And earlier you said comfort almost destroyed you. So it seems like now you’re putting yourself out there all the time.

[29:00] Jerry : Right.

[29:01] Bobbi: You’re always testing your comfort zones. What led you to do that? Because that’s not always easy.

[29:08] Jerry : Well, it was just not being able to wake up anymore in the morning. Okay.

[29:13] Bobbi: You had to.

[29:14] Jerry : I had to. I mean, I just completely lost my sense of fulfillment to me. You’re never going to find your purpose in life if you’re under someone else’s supervision all the time. You got to make your own decisions and you got to go down. You got to open up door A. When you got to open up door A, you got to open up door B. But always being told what to do all day long, you’re never going to find that real purpose and you’re never really going to go beyond that mediocre life. You’re always going to have a mediocre life if you’re not making your own decisions. Yeah, and one more thing too, is this is really important. I’ve been telling my kids for a long time that they need to I’m telling them as really young kids that they need to find a career where they can make their own rules and they need to have a lifestyle career, not where you’re waking up every single day and you have a set schedule. I want them to have a career that they really have something to be proud of. Right. So then one day my son looks at me and says, dad, I don’t understand. You’ve been telling me for years now to have this life. How come you don’t have it? Man that was about right to the.

[30:32] Bobbi: Side of the face, that’s campaign, that.

[30:36] Jerry : Was a good one. And I didn’t make any drastic changes right after that. But it really hit me hard for a couple of months and I was like, wow, you know what? His name is Johnny. And I said, you know what, you’re right. Why aren’t I making those changes? I still have so many more years to go. It’s like, why not make those changes again? I found that great opportunity to kind of segue into my new path and that’s what I did.

[31:05] Bobbi: Wow.

[31:06] Jerry : So you got to do what you preach. You got to do what you preach.

[31:10] Bobbi: That’s exactly right. That’s exactly right. And thank goodness your son asked you that, right?

[31:17] Jerry : Yeah, he gave me my eye opener.

[31:21] Bobbi: So hey, there’s one other thing I wanted to talk about and we were talking about this before we started recording, of course, and it was when you make that leap, you go out on your own. There are people that you kind of expect are going to be great supporters and maybe they’re not supporting you but they’re not showing up as much as maybe you thought. And then there’s those people that you would at least expect it from and they show up more. So can you share just a little bit about your experience with that?

[31:49] Jerry : Sure. So as you know, when you start a business, you got to be able to go on top of a mountain and scream to everybody what you’re doing. Right. Because you want everybody to know because you need that support. You need to build your business and you need to find a new network as well. Who’s looking to hire you? I have several advisors and coaches who are helping me. And part of the program that I am is well, get all your contacts and write emails. Call them, text them and tell them what you’re doing. See if they know anybody who can use your services. And people that I would go to family events with, their family events because their kids were older than me or their weddings and people that you really would have expected to say, hey, let’s jump on a phone call. Let me see how I can help you. They’re Mia. They’re nowhere to be found. They just don’t care but then there’s people who I barely used to talk to and have conversations with, and they really stepped up. And then when I looked more into what they’re doing, I realized that they know the importance of support and building a community and helping people. There’s no greater feeling for me than to help somebody. That’s my number one goal. And that’s why I feel that my route right now as a consultant, as an advisor, is to, one, help a company grow on their operations side, but also to act as that support level, to kind of help them with their mindset. Because I know very well how to deal and how to maneuver through all the different generational personalities that we need to. Right, that’s right. I also know the importance of helping others and how a single person who has those connections can really help you become a very successful person. So now I’m having these people that I randomly would have never thought in a million years that they would have stepped up to the plate and really want to help me. And they are, and they are and they really are helping me. And it’s fantastic. And it shows me that when I continue through my path, when someone who’s ten years behind me looks for me for help, it proves to me how important it is to also help them as well. I mean, what does it take to pick up the phone and make a one two minute phone call with somebody or even text somebody? Right. Because now nobody wants to get on phone calls anymore or write an email to somebody. If you have a connection who can completely change that person’s life, potentially, what’s it take to send a 1 minute email to just introduce you? It doesn’t take much, just most people don’t care. Most people don’t really care. And I’m hoping to not be on that side of the fence.

[34:48] Bobbi: Yeah.

[34:48] Jerry : Because I see how impactful it is for me. Sorry.

[34:51] Bobbi: Yeah. Because it’s incredibly important. I also think it’s related. You said this. I think some people, whether or not they care, they may not have experienced how important it is.

[35:05] Jerry : Right.

[35:06] Bobbi: And it seems like the people who are really stepping up, they’re the people that they understand the value of that. They understand what it takes. And also the courage. This is something I read. It was something about and it relates but they were talking about university professors, and they asked university professors they interviewed, I don’t know how many of them, and they said, really? What makes you show up for a student like and these are professors who might have hundreds of students at a given time. What makes someone stand out? And they’re like it’s the student who is so passionate and so curious. And the professor said, you can just tell that they want the help. They’re the ones that they step up for more. And I think to make ourselves that person like, hey, this is someone who I really want to help. I don’t know. I think that there’s a dynamic that ties in there together. Maybe.

[36:00] Jerry : I really do feel that it all circles back. Your kindness acts are going to circle back. That’s right. It may not be in the next couple of weeks, couple of months, but it’s it’s gonna circle back later on completely. Does it really does. I mean, it’s either you believe that or you don’t, in my opinion. Right. Whether you’re spiritual or religious or whatever. I really do feel that. And I wasn’t really like that for so many years. It’s just again, it’s the awakening that I’m going through where I really want to make an impact on other people. And this is my route. Right. I know construction. Right. But as I start to build more and more into my business, I kind of want to have a more personal relationship with the owners and the top talent because they need to realize that so many people’s lives are in their hands. Their decisions can make or break other people’s careers as a business owner right. Or as an executive. And they need to understand that. And I hope to guide them through that as well. Because, again, I’ve been given a lot of responsibility very early on to my career because of my work ethic and dealing with all the different generations that I have and will continue to. And I’m raising the newest generation right now. It’s not easy. It’s not easy. And it requires a different shift and change. People need to be willing for change because that is the number one problem. I mean, every problem is a people’s problem, essentially, especially in a business. And part of that is the lack of change. I’m reading a book right now that a lot of people I just started, and a lot of people just need to realize that they go through their careers trying to fix problems that they are starting themselves. So they need to acknowledge that they’re the part of the problem. Right. And these are things that I could help them understand as well, while helping them build their systems and processes and building their operations as well in the construction space and hopefully beyond.

[38:18] Bobbi: That’s cool, because it’s like one of those things where if the same problem keeps coming up, you might want to look and say, what’s the common denominator? I had experienced myself and it’s like, oh, maybe I’m the common denominator. But Jerry, that was a perfect segue. So where can people find out more about the work you’re doing now? And if there’s anything you want to tell us about that?

[38:42] Jerry : Sure. So I don’t have a website just yet. I’m hot and heavy on LinkedIn. I post all the time on LinkedIn. So you can find me on LinkedIn. You can send me an email. It’s Jerry with ajjerry at throw. P R, you can either email me or you could find me on LinkedIn and give me a follow on LinkedIn, tell me that you heard me on this podcast, and I’ll be sure to connect with you. And let’s talk. Let’s just have conversations. It doesn’t have to be about selling something all the time. I want to learn what other people are thinking and what they’re doing as well because it makes me a better human being as well.

[39:25] Bobbi: That’s right. And the connection is I think that’s what it’s all about.

[39:30] Jerry : Right? It’s about connection. Right. I mean, we’re on LinkedIn to network, so let’s network.

[39:34] Bobbi: That’s right.

[39:35] Jerry : That’s perfect.

[39:36] Bobbi: So any final thoughts for someone who is maybe where you were five, six, seven years or maybe ten years ago?

[39:45] Jerry : You’ll never be ready to make a big leap in your life. I mean, if you’re not happy, change needs to happen. You need to just monitor that, make sure your mental health is always is always priority. And you need to make that change because it’s never going to be a clear path. It’s never going to be a clear path. You got to start somewhere and you got to go, and you’re going to make mistakes, and you got to turn those mistakes into strengths, right? You’re going to learn the hard way, and you’re going to turn those mistakes into a new skill set. And that’s what you need. And you only fail when you give up. And you’re not going to fail. You’re not going to fail.

[40:25] Bobbi: That’s right.

[40:26] Jerry : You’re not going to give up as.

[40:28] Bobbi: Long as you don’t give up. I love that. I love that. So, Jerry, thank you so much for coming on and for sharing your story. And yeah, keep best of luck to you as you continue down that path.

[40:40] Jerry : Thank you. I appreciate it, and likewise. All the best.

[40:44] Bobbi: I hope that you found inspiration and insights in Jerry’s story. Here are some of my favorites. Number one, we are the story that we tell ourselves. Those stories are written over the course of our lifetime, and we need to be careful about which ones we believe and which ones we repeat, because those become our reality. Number two, I found it poignant that Jerry realized that other people were the ones making decisions that affected the quality of his life and the quality of his family’s life. And that’s kind of scary when you really stop to think about it. Number three, I found it interesting how Jerry said that comfort almost destroyed him. It can be so easy to be lured into what’s comfortable and then stay there. I loved his awareness of how he had stopped learning and growing and that he knew that to change his life, he’d have to step out of his comfort zone. The other thing that really strikes me about that is how many times does that come up in these interviews? We have to step outside of what’s comfortable if we want to make a change. And finally, number four. And maybe most importantly, why have we bought into the notion that it’s okay and acceptable to dread Mondays? What if you didn’t have to do that? I think our lives deserve more than that. Now, those are just four of the highlights for me. I’m sure you have your own. I just want to say thank you for tuning in and for listening. If you haven’t done so already, make sure you hit that subscribe button so that you never miss another episode. And if you have, then I’m so grateful to you for being a loyal subscriber. And in case you missed it, if you sign up for my newsletter on my website,, you get a free five day email course called Find Your Forward Fundamentals, which gives you the building blocks for moving forward and thriving no matter what. I hope that you’ll check it out. I hope that you have a great week and that you keep thriving no matter what’s.

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