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We sometimes hold ourselves back from our most authentic lives because we fear how others might respond. Will they feel hurt? Left behind? Or will we let them down if we choose a different path for ourselves than what they want for us?
Bobbi : Welcome to Unyielded: Thriving No Matter What. I am your host, Bobbi Kahler. Your life is your story to write, no one else’s. This show will empower you to be the author of your own life. Let’s pick up the pen, and let’s get started.
When my dad passed away in November, my younger sister Suzette, and I, we started talking about some of the best advice that dad ever gave us. And Suzette shared something that, well, I believe it’s timeless.
When Suzette was in her early 20s, she met someone, Austin, and they fell in love. But before they met, he had enlisted in the army, and he was going to be stationed in north pole, Alaska, which is, I believe, just a little bit north of fairbanks, Alaska. And at the time, Suzette was living about a mile from our parents in southwest Missouri. Now, it was clear from the beginning that they were in love, and Austin asked Suzette to move to Alaska with him.
And that was a tough decision for Suzette. They’d only been dating for a couple of months or so, but she knew that she loved him, and she also knew that he was her guy. She decided to take the chance and go with Austin. She sold her house, and she spent the last night in Missouri at my mom and dad’s house on the farm.
And after dinner, they sat around our old kitchen table, and they just held each other’s hands. And mom was doing the very best she could not to cry. At one point, Suzette got up to go in the other room, and my dad followed her.
And at that point, he said to her, you’ve made your decision. Now go and make the most of it. And then he hugged her, and he told her that he loved her and that he was proud of her for making her decision. And that gave Suzette peace, encourage, and confidence.
And even as I’m talking about it, I still get emotional, as you can probably tell. Now, fast forward to today. Suzette and Austin have been married for I think it’s about 27 years. It’s at least in that ballpark. They have two wonderful children, and they have built an amazing life together.
What I love about this story is that mom and dad had the courage to let Suzette go and live her dreams, and Suzette had the courage to go and live her dreams.
Too often, we hold ourselves back from our dreams because we worry about what will other people think, or what if by following my dreams, I somehow let someone else down? Or am I being selfish for following my own dreams? And I think that the only way we truly let someone else down is when we hold ourselves back from being our true and authentic selves when we don’t live life to our fullest and truest potential.
Suzette also shared this with me, and this is so my dad. When I left home at 18. I packed up my little red Ford Escort, and I said goodbye to my mom and dad and Suzette. And I was trying my best not to cry. And I could tell that they were trying not to cry. We were all standing in the driveway. And then after hugging them for a final time, I got in my car, I smiled at them, and I started up the car. I backed out of the driveway, I waved, and I yelled out the window, I love you guys. And I started driving down the little one lane red dirt road that our farm was on.
And I remember it. I remember it so clearly. And it was odd because I was crying. And yet at the same time, I was also excited by what was in front of me.
And what I didn’t know until Suzette told me was that as I was backing out of the driveway, my dad, who was standing between my mom and Suzette with an arm around each of them, he said to them, don’t cry until she’s out of sight. This is her life, and she deserves to go and live it. If she sees you crying, she won’t feel okay with leaving us behind.
And he was right.
I believe that the greatest gift we can give to another is the permission to be themselves. And that starts by giving ourselves the permission to be who we truly are.
The thing that I always admired about my dad and the most is that he was always genuine. He was always himself. He was true to himself and to what he valued most, which, for my dad was his family.
I believe that this is one of the reasons why I’m so passionate about standing for the message that we are the author of our own lives. It is our story to write when we dare to pick up the pen and declare that this is what I want, and this is what I want to create.
And we go after that with our full heart. We create a true and better life, not just for ourselves, but also for those around us.
I mean, really, is there anything more important to role model than being true to your own heart and to your own values?
I believe that that is where the magic happens.
So that wraps up today’s episode. Thank you so much for tuning in. I hope that these episodes provide you with a bit of inspiration and motivation in your own life. I appreciate all of you who have subscribed to an and who have shared these episodes with others. And if you haven’t done so already, now is a great time to hit that subscribe or Follow button. And I hope that you have a terrific week and that you continue to rise and thrive.
