If you want to have better relationships with those around you, here is a skill that will help you do that.
The best way to see its value is through this experience:
Late one night, I received an email from a stranger who said:
“I’ve been to your website. I’ve seen your picture, so I know what you look like. I could approach you on the street and you wouldn’t know that it’s me.”
A little creepy, right?
I showed my husband, Rick, the email and we both thought: that’s creepy and weird, but probably no big deal.
He had to travel for work back then and the next night, I tried calling him. I was still a bit on edge over the email.
I called back a few minutes later. This time he answered, and I could hear all this background noise.
I said, “Where are you?”
He replied: “We had to take our clients to a baseball game.”
I didn’t take that well. I’m not proud of it.
But I promptly treated him to a rant about how I was facing certain death while he went to a baseball game! (There was a lot of colorful words used in this rant that I won’t repeat here.)
After I finally ran out of breath, Rick very calmly said: “I know you are afraid. And I know you hate being afraid. What can we do to make you feel safer?”
Even as – irrationally – angry as I was, I paused and I said, “Dude. That was good.”
With those 3 sentences, he made me feel heard, understood, and cared for.
Give that level of compassion and empathy to your loved ones and see how they respond.
Tune into this short episode, to learn more.