Whether it is in your personal or professional life, no one can overstate the importance of emotional intelligence. However, emotional intelligence is a practice. My guest today helps shape and guide the future of individuals, leaders, teams, and organizations who desire to use emotional intelligence to its fullest extent. He has been a successful business owner as well as a spiritual director for over 30 years. Currently, he is trained as an emotional and spiritual intelligence coach and is a PCC Professional Certified Coach (International Coach Federation). Jim Vaive, a wonderful multifaceted personality, joins us today to share his incredible experience and knowledge about emotional intelligence.
Emotional Intelligence and Spiritual Learning – Jim explains the magnificent outcome by blending emotional intelligence and spiritual learning.
Jim’s story – Jim shares his experience of 30 years of work in prisons and with death row inmates and the way he came so far.
Trauma Transformed and Trauma Transferred – As Jim stated, trauma not transformed is trauma transferred. He describes this mind-blowing behavior from an emotional intelligence standpoint.
Transform Trauma with EQ – We discuss how does emotional intelligence help to transform trauma from numerous perspectives.
Projection – Jim shares his thoughts on the differences between emotional intelligence and projection.
Optimism – Jim shares his view on optimism. Furthermore, he explains how optimism relates to finding more options and choices in our lives.
Level Five Leaders – Jim dives into how emotional intelligence can help individuals and businesses, mentioning an exciting concept called level 5 leaders.
Help Others – Jim highlights the significance of creating the space for others to share their story and truth.
Embed EQ to Yourself – Jim talks about how to embed emotional intelligence on ourselves and the resources to gather knowledge for that.
Connet with Jim Vaive
Connect with Jim Vaive
Spirit of EQ
PodMatch – Podcast Guest Interviews : facebook.com/groups/podmatchgroup
PodMatch Community: community.podmatch.com/
Mentioned in the Episode
Playful Humans – People Who Play for a Living podcast.playfulhumans.com/
How to Succeed Podcast: howtosucceed.libsyn.com/
LinkedIn the Sandler Way: sandler.com/resources/sandler-books/linkedin-book/
The Go-Giver: A Little Story About a Powerful Business Idea: goodreads.com/book/show/1873060.The_Go_Giver?from_search=true&from_srp=true&qid=e0ayX5f86M&rank=1
How does EQ improve decision making (individuals and groups): 6seconds.org/2018/07/11/neuroscience-decision-making-insights/
Six Seconds Can Change Your Life:bobbikahler.com/awareness/episode068/
Brené Brown on Empathy”: youtube.com/watch?v=1Evwgu369Jw
Joshua Freedman: jmfreedman.com/
6seconds website: 6seconds.org/
I had so many takeaways from that conversation, and I hope that you did as well. Here are my insights for thriving:
- Trauma that is not transformed is trauma that is transferred. That comes from his 30 years working in prisons and with death row inmates. When he said that, the truth of it just hit me in my heart. We carry trauma with us, and it affects us – and therefore, those around us. I love how he connected that to EQ and, specifically, awareness. We cannot change anything without awareness.
- Create the space for others to share their story and their truth. Jim said that this is one of the most powerful and beneficial things that we can do for another person. We can ask them questions. We can be curious, we can help them tell their story, and then, of course, we listen. And, here we aren’t listening to respond or to share how our story is bigger or better, but to really honor them and show that we care. I love how Jim put it: active listening is being interested in their pictures and the stories behind the pictures. This was one of my driving motivations behind starting the podcast: we all have such amazing stories to share, and we can learn so much from each other.
- When Jim was talking about Level 5 leaders, I couldn’t help but wonder how amazing our families, our communities, our schools, our workplaces could be if we all did our best to be that level 5 leader. The type of leader who gives others the gift of really seeing them, of really hearing them, of really understanding who they are and what they value. Jim’s three tips on that were to
- Ask questions. I have to add to that once my husband Rick once said, “We ask the questions not just to learn the answers. We ask the questions to show we care.
- Don’t assume – even though it is human nature. Notice your assumptions and, at the very least, question them.
- Stop, be present, and take the time to listen. How much better could our relationships be with those three simple and free steps.