The good news is that finding freedom from your emotions, fears, anxiety and the constant swirling thoughts is absolutely possible!(#203)

The good news is that finding freedom from your emotions, fears, anxiety and the constant swirling thoughts is absolutely possible!(#203)

Does any of this sound familiar?

Paralyzed by fear and unable to make decisions?
Worried that whatever decision you make won’t be good enough?
Frustrated that your anxiety is dictating your life?
Physically exhausted and trying to remember what feeling calm is like?
Plagued with negative self-talk and fear of judgment?

This week’s guest, Lauren Fonvielle, is an Integrative Energy Practitioner, specializing in EFT, and she shares how she teaches her clients how to tap into their innate wisdom and inner healer so that they can find balance and a sense of ease both professionally and personally.


Connect with Lauren:

Free Masterclass:

Tap for Business Success – Solopreneur Circle –





– What is EFT:

– How EFT Works:

– Tapping to Calm the Nervous System:

[00:02] Bobbi: Welcome to unyielded Thriving No Matter What where we talk about how to make your next chapter in life your best chapter. I’m your host, Bobby Kaylor, and I believe that the best is yet to come. Our do you ever feel caught up in swirling emotions, thoughts, fears, and anxiety? If so, you’re not alone, and this episode is for you. My guest today will share integrative techniques that are backed by science and have been used with veterans suffering from PTSD and used very successfully. She is an integrative energy practitioner specializing in EFT, which is tapping for stress, anxiety, and trauma. She guides her clients on a journey of self healing to break through obstacles, whether those are physical, mental, or emotional, that are keeping them stuck and holding them back in life or in business. She believes we all have the answers within, and sometimes we just need a little help accessing them. Her name is Lauren Fonville, and I cannot wait for you to meet her. So, Lauren, welcome to the show.

[01:20] Lauren: Hi. I’m excited to chat with you today.

[01:23] Bobbi: I’m excited about this too. I know nothing about this topic, so this should be fun. Why don’t you tell us a little bit about who you are and what you do?

[01:31] Lauren: Yeah. So I am an integrative energy practitioner, which basically means that I use a variety of different healing modalities when I work with my clients, and I really focus on helping entrepreneurs reduce their stress and anxiety and find more balance in their lives. I know that as an entrepreneur, it’s something that I have struggled with, and dealing with anxiety and stress can be all consuming at times. So it was really my own journey that led me to this place of now working with people. I specialize in what’s called EFT, the Emotional Freedom Technique, which is a practice of gently tapping on certain points of the body while acknowledging the emotions that you feel. And doing so helps to hold space for emotions that we perhaps have pushed down and ignored for a really long time, and doing so can help to relieve that anxiety and stress. Wow.

[02:32] Bobbi: Okay, so that sounds really cool. So tell me a little bit more about what led you to get into this field of study and your journey with it.

[02:42] Lauren: I guess.

[02:43] Bobbi: Yeah.

[02:43] Lauren: So this was about six years ago. I was dealing with a lot of anxiety and stress. My husband is in the military, and we found out that he was going to have to deploy again. And while we had done deployments in the past, this time was different because he was in the reserves this time, and it was really unexpected. We didn’t see it coming. And it was also the first time since having kids, and that just adds a whole other layer of stress to the situation. And I found myself having panic attacks, feeling really overwhelmed, and I knew that I needed to do something to really show up as my best self for my kids. That was really my motivation. And so that led me on this path of first, I started at going to yoga, and I signed up for a yoga teacher training, and I became a trauma informed yoga instructor. I was introduced to Reiki, which is a form of Japanese energy healing. And I was in some coaching programs, and in one of those coaching programs, they had an EFT practitioner come in. And I was very skeptical at the idea, even though I was immersed in this world of energy. Being at the yoga studio and doing Reiki, the idea of reducing my stress by tapping on myself just seemed kind of out there. But like I said, I was at this point where I was so overwhelmed, I was willing to try anything. And so in this group session, I started tapping, and I started noticing, wow, I really physically do feel different. What is going on? I need to know what’s going on. And so I continued to study it and practice it. Had some one on one sessions, which had pretty profound impact on my life, and just went on to continue studying it, eventually getting certified so that I can share it with other people.

[04:35] Bobbi: That is really cool. That is really cool. And first of all, thank you for your husband’s service and for yours, because I know that being the spouse of someone in the military, that’s not easy either.

[04:47] Lauren: Yeah, thanks. Yeah, it’s been a journey.

[04:51] Bobbi: Oh, my goodness. I can’t even imagine. And then the other thing you said there I wanted to comment on is, like, with Reiki and all that kind of stuff you said at first, you’re like, yeah, it’s weird. Whatever. Back in 2003, we moved from Chicago to Portland, Oregon, in 2001. And in 2003, I got really sick and Western, my doctors were like, we can’t really help you. And so it was through integrative medicine that I got my health back, and I did things that I never would have done before. Like acupuncture. Forget that nonsense. My goodness. Because I hate needles, right? Made such a difference. I’d walk out of the office and I’d be like, wow, time. It slowed down, and you’re so much more present. And then I did Reiki a couple of times. That was amazing. Hydrotherapy, all these things. And I got massages once a week, and it was like therapeutic massages. Completely turned me into a believer. So I’m excited about this. I haven’t heard of EFT. I haven’t experienced that part of it. So tell us a little bit more about what EFT is.

[06:03] Lauren: Yeah, so when I describe it to people, I actually compare it to acupuncture because people are more familiar with acupuncture. So just like you were saying, you take these needles and they’re put into certain places in your body. Instead of doing that with tapping, we are applying light pressure so acupressure to some of those same points that they put the needles in at. And those points that we are applying pressure to are the end points of the meridians. And the meridians are how energy moves through the body. So this is all part of Chinese medicine. So I’ll tell people, if you go to a doctor and you go and get scans, your meridians aren’t going to show up on your scans. But I like to think of it as how our blood moves through our veins and our vessels, our energy moves through our meridians. And sometimes that energy can get stuck. And I know that that can be a hard concept, right. Like this idea of even talking about energy can be challenging for people because energy isn’t something that you can see. It’s not something that you can touch. It’s something that you feel. And it can be challenging at times to kind of wrap your head around some of this stuff, which is why I was skeptical in the beginning, too. And so if you’re listening to this and you’re skeptical, it’s okay. This is not one of those tools that you have to believe in for it to work. You just need to allow yourself to really focus inward. That’s what this work really does. It helps you to acknowledge how you’re feeling and speak those words out loud and then noticing the physical sensations that come up, the emotional sensations that come up. Sometimes memories that come up. And then we explore those things one at a time to really get to the root of why you’re feeling the way that you do.

[07:50] Bobbi: Yeah, okay. So I love that, and I love the connection to Chinese medicine. I mean, there’s so much wisdom in there. I remember back, it was in 2002, I think it was at the time I still had asthma, and I had adult onset asthma. And I met someone, this was in Portland, and she was an integrative medicine practitioner. And she said, you know, asthma is when it’s adult onset is frequently, if you believe in Chinese medicine, a manifestation of it was grieving, but unprocessed grieving. That’s stupid. That’s really stupid. I had a couple of experiences that forced me to kind of grieve some stuff from the past, and my asthma is gone.

[08:40] Lauren: Yeah, I mean, it’s powerful, right? And I think the way that a lot of people can relate to it is when we talk about anxiety and stress, because that is something that a lot of people do feel physically. Right. When I ask that question, where do you feel your stress in your body? Most people have an immediate reaction to that. They have an answer to that question. But the thing is, it’s not just with anxiety and stress. It’s with any emotion that we can hold on to it physically and learning that. And it is this process of learning how to communicate with your body, right. And also, I always talk about listening to your body whisper so you don’t have to hear it scream because for so long we just deal with it, right. We power through society tells us we ignore, and that doesn’t work, right? It can work in the short term, but in the long term, all of that stuff that you’re suppressing is going to get to that point where it’s going to explode and it’s going to come out in some way. And sometimes that’s physically and sometimes it’s emotionally, sometimes it’s both. And this is a tool that can gently help you through it and allow you to sit with those feelings.

[09:55] Bobbi: Okay. I love that. So a couple of questions. How does someone know if their energy is stuck? Because you were talking about energy earlier. How would someone know that?

[10:07] Lauren: Well, if you’re feeling frustrated all the time, if you’re feeling overwhelmed, if you’re having those thoughts of like, is this it? What else is going? Like, is this what life is? That feeling of just thinking that there’s more out there. I feel like wanting to really feel and experience that joy and happy happiness.

[10:33] Bobbi: Okay, so you’re kind of blocked from that energy.

[10:36] Lauren: Yeah. Okay. That makes you focused, right? Because when you’re feeling your feelings, when you are feeling really sad, really angry, really frustrated, any emotion that is uncomfortable to feel, I often envision it as like being in the center of a tornado. You can’t see anything else because you’re so wrapped up in those feelings. And so tapping is this tool that can help you create space from being in the center of the eye of that tornado so that you can maybe be back on the mountain looking at the tornado and you start to think about things differently. And when we think about things differently, we start to feel differently. When we feel differently, we take different action and then we get the different result.

[11:18] Bobbi: Yeah. Okay. But it’s not ignoring those feelings.

[11:23] Lauren: No, it’s all about acknowledging those feelings. Okay. Sometimes the simple act of stating out loud something that you’ve been thinking over and over and over again, that can have some real power. Because when you hear the words coming out of your mouth, sometimes almost immediately, you can be like, oh gosh, that is just not true. Something that feels really true to start with. You just like, oh, that’s just ridiculous. I have people say that they are confused or they think it’s silly or whatever the case may be.

[11:55] Bobbi: Yeah. And sometimes just saying it out loud, it’s like when we expose it to the light of day, it’s like, okay, it didn’t stand up. And it was interesting when you were talking there. I had another guest a few weeks ago. Well, from the time we’re recording and he was talking about how a lot of times he’s a psychologist and he said a lot of people try to suppress the negative. Negative feelings, which are really the unpleasant feelings. And he said, but the problem is, if you suppress those, you’re also suppressing things like joy and happiness and awe and all those things. So it’s like, we can’t suppress it. Let’s back up a little bit. You mentioned a couple of times stress, anxiety, feelings of overwhelm. Right. You’re totally right. Anyone who’s an entrepreneur, you deal with those who doesn’t, right. If you have a corporate job, no matter what you’re doing, you have those feelings. So how would someone use EFT to help with that?

[12:58] Lauren: Yeah, so some people will come to me and they’re just feeling really stressed, really stressed out, and they’ve tried other modes of feeling better, and then somebody tells them about tapping, and they’re like, let’s give it a try. And so maybe there isn’t clarity necessarily on what is causing the stress. Right. Maybe the trigger might be your boss saying something to you at work, and that’s what pushes you over the edge. Right. But the thing is that it’s more than likely not just the thing that your boss said to you as to why you’re feeling all this stress and anxiety. It’s likely lots of different things that have happened that you haven’t allowed yourself to acknowledge or feel. And this can go as far back as childhood, because a lot of the time, every experience that we’ve had in our life has an emotion attached to it. And when that emotion is that uncomfortable emotion that we don’t want to feel, we push it down. Right. And we can do that for a certain amount of time. But then maybe that your boss saying something to you that triggers you, making you feel like you’re not good enough. Right. When you do this work, you can start with that. And you could say something like, even though he said X, Y, and Z to me, I love and accept myself. I can’t believe he said that to me. Right. You start saying these things, and as you’re saying whatever it is that’s going on with your situation, you’re noticing how you feel and you notice where your mind goes because it’s inevitably going to go to different thoughts. Sometimes what happens a lot of the times, a memory from the past will come up, and it could be something of a teacher saying something to you when you were in first grade. Right. And then our conscious mind wants to be like, oh, my gosh, that’s ridiculous. That’s not related to why I’m stressed out right now. Right. We want to make sense of it, and that’s hard to make sense of. But I will say that when these memories come up, there is always a reason for it to come up, and the reason is not for you to ignore it. And so then we can tap about that memory and what else comes to mind with that memory and noticing what feelings are happening in the body and the sessions really organically, unfold, because one thought always leads to another. And we can get to the root of that feeling of perhaps not feeling good enough or not feeling valued.

[15:20] Bobbi: So that’s really interesting because I think it goes to sometimes you’ll be feeling like you feel pretty good, right. But you can tell that you’ve got like, why am I feeling stressed? Everything is going well and yet so it could be some kind of I don’t want to say underlying I don’t know the best way to express that, but it might not just have to do with your present circumstances.

[15:44] Lauren: Right, but yeah, there could be other things that have just been building up beneath the surface.

[15:50] Bobbi: Building up.

[15:51] Lauren: Okay.

[15:52] Bobbi: So now is this something is tapping something that someone can do on their own or so it is.

[15:58] Lauren: It is something you can do on your own. It is a practice that once you know where the points are, you can absolutely tap on your own. I think that’s the beauty of it. It’s a practice that can be used proactively on a day to day basis as far as just regular self care and acknowledging your emotions. And it can be used in a reactive situation where you start to feel the panic come on or you feel the anxiety and stress starting to build up. I will say it’s very helpful to work with a practitioner because as I was saying before, when you’re in the midst of feeling the feelings, it can be very difficult to figure out where to start or what to say because everything feels overwhelming or everything is just feeling very stressful. So when you have that outside set of eyes to talk to you about what you’re feeling and what’s going on, it can be helpful to have somebody help you form those sentences or those phrases that you’re going to use. And it can be quite powerful to work with someone through that process and have somebody else hold space for you. There’s a lot to be said.

[17:07] Bobbi: That’s a huge piece right there.

[17:09] Lauren: Yeah.

[17:10] Bobbi: Okay, so now is that something that can people do that via zoom or does it have to be in person?

[17:15] Lauren: Yeah, the majority of the clients that I work with, I see virtually okay, that’s really good because they’re tapping on themselves. When I tell people, oh, yes, I do EFT tapping, they’re like, oh, are you a tap dancer? Or like, oh, are you tapping on me? No, you can tap on yourself. I’ll explain it as, like Simon says, I tap in a point, you tap in the same point. I’ll say a sentence, you repeat that sentence. And as we move through the practice, you can share at any point what thoughts are coming up. It’s called a round of tapping when you’re tapping on these points because you’re moving in a circle around the body and so you can share whatever you’re feeling at any point in the practice, we can change the words and see where it goes. It’s a very natural unfolding.

[18:04] Bobbi: Okay. That reminds me of something. I watched one of your YouTube videos on it and you said something like, make sure the words you’re using are true for you.

[18:15] Lauren: Yes. There’s lots of YouTube videos that are out there with Tapping. And so I always like to tell people it’s great, the Tapping videos are great, and I make the Tapping videos so that people can tap along with me. But if the video that you’re watching, if the practitioner is using words that just aren’t hitting for you, that just aren’t resonating, I would say to pause it and really try to come up with your own words. Because the two most important things with Tapping are using your words and really having that ability to tune inward and notice what you’re feeling physically and emotionally.

[18:52] Bobbi: Okay. And with the words. Can you give me an example? That’d be great.

[19:00] Lauren: Yeah. So the way that you would typically do it is even though I’m feeling fill in the blank, I love and accept myself. And you would say that three times while tapping on this pinky side of the hand. And then we would move into the reminder phrase. So even though I’m feeling anxious, I’m feeling so anxious, all of this anxiety and just saying those words over and over as you’re tapping on the different points throughout the body. And so it’s allowing you to focus on how you’re actually feeling, which is different than some other modalities, which would be like, okay, let’s acknowledge this sadness, let’s say, and then, okay, let’s flip a switch and say the positive affirmation of I am so happy. Right, but there’s a disconnect there because what you’re saying isn’t matching up with how you’re actually feeling. So with Tapping, we focus on how we’re actually feeling. And sometimes people get confused by that because they’re saying, when I’m tapping on these points and I’m saying, I’m so anxious, I’m so anxious, like, isn’t it tapping in the bad? Are we affirming the bad? And it’s no, it’s allowing yourself to acknowledge how you’re feeling because we don’t do that enough. And then the idea is that we will slowly and organically move that needle towards that better feeling. So if you’re feeling really sad, it may not be in the cards that you’re going to feel really happy by the end of the session. Right. Because there could be a real, true reason for why you’re feeling very sad that you’re not going to be able to go all the way to the opposite end of the spectrum. However, it may be possible that you get to a point where it’s like, I’m sad and it’s okay, or I’m allowed to feel this way, or I’ve been sad before and I’ve gotten through it. Maybe that’s the better thought. But we slowly move that needle in a way that feels good to you?

[20:49] Bobbi: Yeah. Okay. You said something like, we don’t acknowledge what we feel enough. We don’t do that enough. Do you think that that is or is it because we don’t know what we’re really feeling? We haven’t been trained to see or to experience it? Why do you think that happens, that we don’t acknowledge it enough?

[21:13] Lauren: Because it’s uncomfortable. It’s uncomfortable to sit with the sadness or the frustration or the anxiety. And so we distract ourselves from feeling it because it’s so uncomfortable. And so sometimes it’s distracting yourself by throwing yourself into your work and sometimes it’s distracting yourself by throwing yourself onto the couch and drinking too much wine. Whatever your body’s going to listen to is how we distract ourselves. So we need to make the time to allow ourselves to really sit with the feelings, because we’re going to continually run from those emotions if we don’t allow ourselves to feel them and sit with them. And when we do allow that, which can be scary for some people. The idea of allowing yourself to feel the sadness that you’ve been suppressing for who knows how long, or feel the anger that you haven’t allowed yourself to feel, there can be a lot of fear associated with that, and that’s okay. And tapping can help with that too. So you can even say, even though I’m having all of this fear around, feeling the sadness, I love and accept myself. And the idea is you give it a rating on a scale of one to ten, like, how intense is the fear or the emotion that you’re feeling? And then as you tap, you check back in and see if that number comes down to a more reasonable number where you can now move forward and feel a little bit better.

[22:38] Bobbi: Yeah, I think that’s really powerful. And earlier you said something like, there’s so much pressure in society to not feel sadness, to not feel whatever it is, anything unpleasant, we’re just supposed to move through it and replace it with the toxic positivity of happy thoughts. My graduate degree is based on the science of positive psychology, so I totally love positive psychology. And there’s a point where it’s not healthy if we’re just putting a band Aid on something.

[23:12] Lauren: Right.

[23:13] Bobbi: You know what I mean? And I know sometimes I see this on social media, and I know that people are trying to be helpful, but someone will post something like, well, if you’re going through a hard time, just look at other people less fortunate and feel grateful for what you have. And it’s like there might be some value to that. But on the other hand, a person’s sadness or grieving, that’s their sadness or that’s their grieving. They need to have that. They need to work through it, not just suppress it.

[23:44] Lauren: Exactly. It doesn’t take away from the pain that they’re in, from whatever their situation is.

[23:48] Bobbi: No. So what is the downside when we don’t acknowledge what we’re feeling?

[23:55] Lauren: Well, I think it can lead to well, I know that it can lead to physical pain because there are so many emotional components to physical pain. And I think it can also lead to you just not feeling good when you’re just not kind of to your point of what you were saying before. When you’re not allowing yourself to feel the uncomfortable stuff, then you’re not really allowing yourself to experience the true joy either. So you’re kind of just like living in this place where you’re not feeling the full extent of the feelings. Which, in my opinion, is why we’re here, right? We’re here to be able to feel all of this stuff and grow through it.

[24:41] Bobbi: Yeah, absolutely. Okay, so I had a question too, that came up when you’re talking about a session, how long does this take? Hours to do a day? Is it ten minutes? Is it a practice? Tell me more about that.

[25:01] Lauren: So a typical session that I’ll have with a client will last for an hour. But if you’re just doing this on your own as part of your daily self care routine, you don’t have to do it for an hour. You can do it for a couple of minutes. And I would say that if you can do it for even just a couple of minutes, five to ten minutes a day, you’re going to be more likely to be able to implement it. In those moments where you are feeling really stressed out and overwhelmed, you’ll be more likely to go to that tool when it’s in your regular practice, as opposed to learning the points. And then when you start to have that anxiety, you’re most likely not going to turn to it if it’s not something that you become comfortable with.

[25:42] Bobbi: Yeah. And how long does it take, like, let’s say someone either working with you or on their own or whatever, how long does it normally take before someone sees some sort of results?

[25:53] Lauren: So it does depend. It depends on the person. It depends on how long they’ve been dealing with this issue. If you’ve been suppressing these emotions for a really long time, it could take a little bit longer. It could also be dependent upon your readiness for healing, which is a sticky thing to talk about sometimes because you ask someone who’s in pain, whether that’s emotional or physical pain, are you ready for healing? Of course, they’re hard to say. Yeah, I’m ready to bring it on. But what I mean is sometimes we hold on to these feelings or these beliefs as a way of protecting ourselves, and sometimes we’re not consciously aware of that. So being able to pause and reflect and really think about things can be really helpful. And I can give an example. I was working with a woman who was dealing with a lot of physical pain, and she was in bed for a couple of days and struggling with this physical pain. And when I posed the question of, is there any benefit to this pain? Can you think of any benefit of you being in this pain? She didn’t just be like, no. She really stopped. And she paused and she thought about it, and she said, well, because I’m in this pain, my kids are coming by a lot more often. And so that opened the conversation to, okay, so is there a fear that if you’re feeling well, your kids aren’t going to come by? And those were some of the words that we used when we continued to tap. And she found some relief from her pain that day. So you have to be ready to look at things from all angles.

[27:45] Bobbi: Yeah, that’s a very interesting example. Do you have any other examples of how you’ve helped a client, I don’t know, experience healing or a breakthrough or something? I’m sure you do it, but is there one that you can share?

[27:58] Lauren: Yeah, I worked with a client who came to me because she was just really feeling anxious, overwhelmed, stressed out. She was unhappy with her job. She felt very stuck there, afraid to leave because of financial security and all of that. And in our time working together, we were able to identify past experiences where she felt like she had to stay small and not speak up for safety purposes, which then was now replaying itself in the workplace where she was really staying small, not speaking her mind. And so we were able to work a lot on setting boundaries, speaking up, allowing her voice to be heard. After working together for six months, I also think the work environment was not the best. It was like a toxic work environment, but she felt a little bit better in being there. But then she got to a point where she was like, I’m done being scared. I don’t know what’s next, but I know it’s not here. And she decided to leave that job. And she left that job. She ended up writing a book, and she’s launching her own business and has really stepped into herself and found her inner power, which has just been such an honor for me to be witnessed.

[29:25] Bobbi: That’s powerful. And that was through the tapping.

[29:28] Lauren: Yeah. And we’re working together, and it’s two and a half years later now still. Wow. When I work with clients, a lot of the time we’ll start out with an eight week program, because I have found that the majority of people will see a difference within the eight weeks and feel a difference. And then from there, if they want to continue on their own, they’re empowered to do so and feel comfortable doing so. And then there’s always an opportunity to continue working with me. If you want additional support, it just depends on what the person is looking for and what kind of issue they’re dealing with in. Their life.

[30:07] Bobbi: Okay, so quick question for you there, because you said one of the things you helped her with was around setting boundaries.

[30:13] Lauren: Yeah.

[30:14] Bobbi: Right. Now, was that through the tapping or.

[30:16] Lauren: Was that yeah, like feeling like tapping on things, like not feeling like she could say something or the fear of speaking up, the fear of what would happen, the fear of judgment, of what people will think of her. All of these thoughts that start to come into play when you think about creating a boundary and saying no, what does that mean? Does that mean that she won’t be liked? Does that mean all these thoughts that would come up? So, yes, tapping on all of these different beliefs that she had that were oftentimes were associated with past events.

[30:54] Bobbi: Okay, so then that was helping her move through move through that. So it opened up a new space for her.

[31:03] Lauren: Yeah, I mean, I like to think of it that way. Right. If we think of all of this stuff that we have shoved down and I like to think of it like in my chest. Right, we’ve shoved that’s right. Thoughts and beliefs. And if we are able to then release some of these thoughts and beliefs through the tapping practice now, we’ve created this open space and then we can call in what is it that we want to feel, what do we want to embody? Right. And sometimes we can refer back to a past event when you felt really strong or you felt really confident, but sometimes people don’t have that memory or that feeling from the past. So then it’s like looking at someone else that you know is feeling that way or someone who you admire that feels that way. And tapping in that emotion. So it’s always moving from the more uncomfortable feeling to where we want to feel how we want to move forward and the emotions we want to embody.

[31:58] Bobbi: That’s really cool. That’s really cool. And I know you sent me some information when we first started talking and I don’t remember all of it, but what is some of the science behind this practice?

[32:10] Lauren: Yeah. So as we are tapping on these points, there’s been a bunch of studies that have been done, particularly by Dr. PETA Stapleton, who is a doctor who is over in Australia. Her work is amazing. And what she found in this one particular study was, as you tap on these points, it’s sending a message to the amygdala in the brain. And the amygdala is the part of the brain that controls fight or flight, which is I always like to remind people that part of the brain is there to protect us right when we’re in those situations where we need to fight back or run away. But when we’re talking about chronic stress and anxiety and overwhelm that amygdala, that alarm center can be firing all the time. And so I often refer to this hand model where if we pretend that my fist is my brain and my thumb is inside my fist, and that’s the amygdala. So when information comes up the brain stem to the prefrontal cortex, this is where we make our good, sound decisions, right? But when the amygdala is firing, that part of the brain is offline, so that information cannot get to the prefrontal cortex. So that’s those situations where you’re so overwhelmed, you’re so stressed out, you may even say to yourself, I can’t even think straight right now. And that is because you can’t, because that information cannot get to that part of the brain because the amygdala is firing. And when the amygdala is firing, it’s putting Cortisol into the body, which is the stress hormone. So when we’re tapping, it’s basically sending a message to the amygdala and saying, hey, Amygdala, you don’t actually need to be in fight or flight right now. And it’s been shown to reduce the amount of Cortisol pumping through the body by up to 43%, which is a really big number.

[33:53] Bobbi: That’s a big number.

[33:54] Lauren: It’s a really big number. And so then you can now begin to think more clearly and calmly. So I always will tell people, like, if you can just even find that one point and those situations where you’re feeling stressed or overwhelmed, whether you’re either applying light pressure to it or tapping on the point and taking some deep breaths, it’s going to send that message into the brain to reduce the amount of Cortisol. So we start to feel calmer in our bodies. When we start to feel calmer in our bodies, we can think more clearly and we can make those better decisions. And there’s other studies, too, that show about how this has helped people with PTSD. In one study, it reduced it was a study done on veterans, and they tapped individually with each of these veterans for six weeks, once a week, for an hour. By the end of the six weeks, they checked back in with them. 90% of the veterans in this group had a reduction in their PTSD symptoms, and then that was sustained three months later and then again six months later. So, yeah, it’s really powerful stuff. And the fact that it’s been approved by the VA to be used with the veterans, I think, says a lot too.

[35:01] Bobbi: It really does. And the release of Cortisol, I mean, I think there are so many things that can trigger that in our daily life. I was even surprised when you experience a loss of someone close to you, parent, spouse, obviously a child, your system, your Cortisol levels can be higher for up to four months, even if you are not thinking about it all the time. The reason I looked into that was because my father I think we had to reschedule our original interview. My dad passed away in November. And I’m like, Why? Is like, because obviously you grieve but then at a point, it’s like, what is going on in my body here? Because you don’t quite feel like yourself. And that’s when I learned about that. Up to four months in modern life, there’s so many things that releases the cortisol. So something that can help with that, and you’re right. When it can’t do its job effectively, that is when we feel like we can’t think straight. It’s where we react versus respond. That’s pretty powerful. Another thing I noticed about that study with the veterans, you said it was 1 hour a week.

[36:21] Lauren: Yes.

[36:22] Bobbi: That’s not that much right now.

[36:25] Lauren: I don’t know if any of them were continuing to tap on their own throughout that. Possibly. And I do think that it’s a tool, that it’s not just like a one and done thing. Right. It is a tool that you need to continue to come back to and that I think you can get to the root of issues and be free of them. But that’s not to say that you’re not going to be triggered by something in the future and need to come back and readdress it. But yeah, it’s a powerful tool. And as a military spouse, when I read that study, I was very happy to read that study. And that is being utilized for veterans.

[37:02] Bobbi: Wow, that is amazing. And like you said, the fact that the VA has endorsed it.

[37:08] Lauren: Yeah. I am not a therapist. You do not need to be a therapist to be an EFT practitioner. But there are therapists that are EFT practitioners and so those that are can use that with the veterans.

[37:23] Bobbi: That is really awesome. That is really awesome. So if someone’s thinking about getting started with this, what would be some best practices?

[37:30] Lauren: Yeah, well, I would always encourage you to find a practitioner to work with in the beginning. But if that’s not an option for you right now, I would say go online, watch some videos, learn where the points are and see how it makes you feel. See if this is going to help you. I true believer that we’re all individuals. We all react to things differently. Different tools work differently for each person. But if you are listening to this, you’re intrigued, you’re curious, you think it’s weird, but maybe it could help me. I don’t know. Give it a try. Give yourself that gift of exploring whatever is making its way into your path. I feel like that always happens for a reason. And if you wanted to see someone in person, I would always use the resource of EFT International. That’s who I’m certified through. So they list all of their practitioners on there as well.

[38:28] Bobbi: Nice. And you had sent me three YouTube videos to watch and I think one was about yeah, maybe I’ll just put those in the show notes.

[38:36] Lauren: That way if someone wants to see.

[38:37] Bobbi: More about it, I think that’d be a great way for them to learn more. And it’s great, too, because I think one of them you led people through how to tap, right?

[38:46] Lauren: Yeah. The tapping process. And I do have a free Master class on my website that people can access. So I go into more of the science and walk everybody through a full practice. And you can access that? Yeah. By visiting Masterclass. Okay.

[39:06] Bobbi: And I’ll be sure to put that in there, too. And that’s a perfect segue. How can people learn more about you or about your practice, all this kind of stuff? Yeah.

[39:14] Lauren: So my website is I’m also active on Instagram, and if you just search MindShift with Lauren, you’ll find me on there. And I have a free monthly class that I’m offering to entrepreneurs. So if you’re someone that’s struggling with anything in your business, from fear of putting yourself out there to anxiety about an upcoming project, whatever it may be, we come together as a group. People share what their struggles are, and then we tap as a group. And there’s a lot of power in the energy of using somebody else’s words. And then you are also checking in with whatever your own personal issue is, and we release that as a group. So if you wanted to try it in real time and you’re an entrepreneur, I would love to see you there. That’s on the first Thursday of every month at 11:00 a.m.. And I have that link on my website, too.

[40:09] Bobbi: That’s perfect. I love that and I love the free resources. It’s a great way for people to be able to kind of dip their toes in the water, check it out.

[40:17] Lauren: See if you like it.

[40:18] Bobbi: That’s exactly right. So I love that. So any final words before? Any kind of final thoughts before we wrap up?

[40:26] Lauren: I would just say if you are feeling stuck or you’re feeling like there’s more out there, know that there is, and that you deserve to feel good. We all deserve to feel good. And I truly believe that that starts with going inward because we’re all very aware. I think that when the external things that are going on around us, that impacts how we feel internally, but we can just as powerfully tune inward, and that internal world can just have just as big, if not bigger, an impact on the external world. So tune inward and allow yourself to feel those feelings.

[41:04] Bobbi: Yeah. God, I completely agree, Lauren. And it just reminds me, like in coaching, we always talk about it. The client is resourceful, and we are all of us have so much more power than what we even realize. And it starts from doing the internal work. So I love what you’re doing, and thanks for coming on and for sharing all this. It’s been really terrific.

[41:24] Lauren: Thank you. Thank you so much for having me. I really appreciate it.

[41:27] Bobbi: A couple of things that really kept surfacing for me while I was listening to that conversation is how important it is that we don’t try to bottle things up or separate ourselves from them. That isn’t to say that we want to wallow in them or obsess about them, but we have to go through them. In other words, we have to do the work to deal with them. I really thought it was spot on when Lauren said that sometimes when we’re obsessing about thoughts or feelings, simply to put them into words and say them out loud will help us release them. And I have to say that is also the power of a journal. Sometimes just writing it down lets us get it out of our head so we can stop ruminating on it. It also, once again, reminded me of how resourceful we truly are when we learn how to pause and tap into our inner wisdom and our inner ways of knowing. And I hope that this episode helps you do that. I did put three of Lauren’s videos in the show notes, like I said I would, as well as all of her other links, including that one, to her free Masterclass, which I hope that you’ll check them all out. I know I found those YouTube videos very helpful, and I hope that they’ll help you as well on your journey. So I just want to say thanks for being here. I appreciate you and all the love and support that you show us. And thank you so much for subscribing. And by the way, if you haven’t yet subscribed, now is a great time to hit that subscribe or Follow button, depending on which platform platform you’re using. I hope that you all have a great week. Be well and keep thriving.

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