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Have you ever had a moment where “you just knew” something wasn’t quite right, but you ignored it? Usually, those situations don’t turn out well.
Bobbi: Welcome to UnYielded: Thriving No Matter What where we talk about how to make your next chapter in life your best chapter. I’m your host, Bobbi Kahler, and I believe that the best is yet to come.
When I look back at some of the biggest mistakes that I’ve made, I notice that there is a common theme that runs through the vast majority of them, and it’s this I had an inkling that something wasn’t quite right, but I ignored it.
And maybe you have had that happen as well. I think that this can show up in our personal relationships, work relationships, and just our life in general. I’ve even had some people say that it has shown up for them in certain client engagements where, during the sales process, that the salesperson has seen something from the potential customer that makes them think, oh, man, is this really a client that I want? But they ignore it. They win the business to find themselves with one of the most difficult clients that they’ve ever had. And maybe you can relate.
The problem is that we often doubt ourselves and our own intuition, and that, more often than not, gets us into trouble. To strengthen our intuition and more specifically, our trust in our intuition, there are a couple of things that we can do to help us avoid repeating the mistakes of the past.
So, number one, when one of these situations arise where something goes haywire and you know, man, looking back, I kind of knew something was off. Take the time to really reflect on this situation. Be super honest with yourself and think about it. What signs were there that this situation or relationship or whatever wasn’t going well or that something just wasn’t quite right about it? And this isn’t to beat yourself up. The value of this exercise is that it will help you strengthen and trust your own intuition and judgment.
The second activity, and this was one of my favorites, is to build a red and yellow list. It is truly one of the most powerful activities that I’ve ever done, and it has two very powerful benefits. Number one, it helps you spot potential problems faster and earlier. And number two, it builds confidence in your intuition, your gut instinct.
Here’s how it works. Start with a list that has two columns. Label them red and yellow.
And in the red list, these are things that are deal breakers for you. And they might include, among others, things that are so draining that you can’t stand doing them or things that go against your core values. They could be behaviors or attitudes that you find intolerable or incompatible to you and your values. And they could also include things that make you feel bad about yourself to associate with. These things make you feel, I don’t know, ashamed or even embarrassed. So those are the deal breakers. That’s the red list.
Then we come to the yellow list and I think the red list is the easier one to do because a lot of us, we know what our deal breakers are. The yellow list. These are cautionary flags that might indicate that you’re entering the danger zone.
And here’s the very tricky thing about the yellow list. Usually one of these on their own isn’t an issue. And sometimes even two or three of these aren’t an issue. It’s when they add up that they take a toll. I also would say that on some of these with a yellow list, maybe if they happen once or twice, they’re not an issue. But this is where it’s that consistency of them happening that it wears on us over time.
These can include things like things that maybe they don’t give you a lot of energy, but they don’t drain you to the point of exhaustion, or things that maybe they’re not totally in line with your values, but they don’t directly conflict with one of your core values. And they could also be behaviors and attitudes that you may not like, but they really don’t cross a boundary. Maybe they come close to the boundary.
And again, one of these on their own probably not a big deal. It’s when they add up that they can be a big deal. And I’ve had that happen to me. And then looking back, I’m like, oh, my goodness, why didn’t I see this earlier?
So in a world that is moving faster and faster and getting more and more complicated, honing our intuition and truly trusting it is an incredibly powerful tool that we all have at our disposal. So try out these two activities and watch how much stronger your inner knowing and intuition will get.
And one thing I want to add here, I have known people, and maybe you have too. They’re just like, oh, my intuition told me. I don’t use intuition in that way, where it’s like an excuse for being irrational when my intuition is telling me something, to me, that is a data point and it’s an important data point, it’s telling me that something that my mind probably isn’t even picking up on, right? There’s something there that I need to pay attention to. So when I feel that like, oh, man, my intuition is telling me something, it makes me pause and say, let’s pause and let’s really look at what is going on. What are the signals that I could be picking up if I took the time to look?
So anyway, that wraps up today’s episode. Thanks for tuning in. If you haven’t yet subscribed yet, now is a great time so that you never miss another episode. I just want to say that I appreciate you all and I’m sending love and positivity your way. I hope you have a fabulous week and that you be well and continue to rise and thrive.
