When it comes to your life: don’t think outside the box. Throw the box away. (#221)

[00:02] Bobbi: Welcome to UnYielded: Thriving No Matter What, where we talk about how to make your next chapter in life your best chapter. I’m your host Bobbi Kahlor, and I believe that the best is yet to come.

[00:25] Bobbi: Dear listeners, before putting your phone down, now is a great time to hit that subscribe button. There is a lot of gold in this conversation. We talked about learning the most from the unexpected lessons in life, creating a self-empowering mindset how to take the wisdom that we’ve gained in life so far and using that to write our next chapter, tapping into our unique brilliance the damaging effects of autopilot in our life. How the words we use are spells, how sometimes we call it our comfort zone, but it’s really our convenience zone. And when it comes to our life and to our potential, we need to not just think outside the box, we need to throw the box away. My guest today is Regina Huber. She is the CEO of Transform your performance. Her eclectic experience on five continents started in Germany and includes leadership positions at the Boston Consulting Group, as well as ownership of businesses in Argentina, Brazil and the US. This experience shaped her into a multicultural transformational leadership coach, international inspirational speaker and author of Speak Up, Stand Out and Shine, she has also coauthored three other books and has written numerous articles for magazines in the US. And Africa, where she has been featured by multiple media outlets. And it’s time to meet her. Regina, welcome to the show.

[01:53] Regina: Thank you so much, Bobbi. I am delighted to be here with you today.

[01:57] Bobbi: I’m so excited. Ever since you reached out and we had our email exchange, I’m like, oh, my goodness, this is going to be fun. So let’s jump in. All right. Want to tell the listeners a little bit about yourself and your background?

[02:11] Regina: Yes. Thank you for giving me that opportunity. So I have had a very adventurous life so far, have certainly gained a lot of wisdom through all the ups and downs because life doesn’t usually go just up all the time and it holds some unexpected lessons. We don’t always like them, but sometimes they are very painful and other times they are filled with joy. I think some of the most painful ones are as. Most of us have probably experienced the biggest life lessons and they are there for us to grow. So this is the story of my life, which actually started in a tiny little village in Bavaria, Germany. I grew up on a farm, and I was probably the shyest girl in the village back then, but I always had this adventurous spirit inside of me, probably from my father’s lineage, and I later found out, actually. And so I’ve had a very eclectic experience on five continents so far. At the age of 19, I moved to Munich to study and later to Madrid, and since then I’ve lived in Spain, in Argentina and Brazil twice, actually, and here in the US in California, New York and Florida. And I’ve also spent about eight, nine months in different countries on the African continent. I’ve done a lot of work in Portugal through my job in the past as well. And I’ve taught a leadership workshop, which is very exciting in Qatar. And of course, I’ve also worked with some private coaching clients in Asia, Europe, Latin America and Africa as well, though most of those are scattered all across the US. So this is a very, very eclectic experience. And eventually I had to figure out, okay, what am I going to do when I moved to New York about in 2011, 2012. I try to figure out, okay, what am I going to do with all this wisdom that I had acquired, all this experience as a business owner in my management positions at BCG, a global consulting firm, in all these other roles and capacities, with all those experiences? And how could I pull all of that together into something meaningful that could make a difference? And that could also be fun. And this is how my business, Transform Your Performance, came about. My approach is very, very holistic because I also have a strong interest for holistic healing modalities, which I studied a lot of, and it taught me about energy, it taught me about mindset, about the subconscious and how it works. And I also love dance, which didn’t come earth because there was not a lot of dance going on in that village. However, it’s something that I’ve always traveled with. So this is how I open Transform my performance. And over time, it transmuted into what it is today, this speaking, coaching and training business. I’m a Transformational Leadership Coach. I love to speak, to, inspire, and I’ve written a book in the meantime and also collaborated in a few other books as a co author. And what I do is, in a nutshell, I help my clients reach their next career goal and upgrade their leadership skills so they can better lead self and others.

[05:45] Bobbi: Nice. And for those who are listening and might not know, what does Transformational Leadership mean?

[05:52] Regina: Transformational Leadership Coaching means several things. Right? So Transformational Leadership for me is to transform as a leader. It could have several meanings. You could transform an organization, right? I focus a lot on the person, on their careers, but also on the impact they make as a leader and how that then translates into their teams, into team engagement, employee engagement, team productivity, creativity, innovation. All the good. Stuff that we want from our team so that we can really bring the best out of our teams and that it should not just be about more engaged teams but also about happier teams in my understanding.

[06:39] Bobbi: That’s right. I love that. Oh my goodness, Regina. So there’s so much in there that we can explore, but I really want to start with something you said back in what was it when you said 2011, 2012, something like that. And you said, how do I take all this wisdom?

[06:52] Regina: Right?

[06:53] Bobbi: All this wisdom, all these experiences and how do I do to shape something for what’s next? Because I think a lot of our listeners probably have had some of those same thoughts or they’re somewhere on that journey.

[07:09] Regina: What did you do?

[07:10] Bobbi: How did you work through that process?

[07:12] Regina: Well, I was coming up from Brazil at the time, maria de Janeiro, beautiful city. I love living there and it was not my intention to leave, but as I said earlier, we all have those significant life stories. I love dancing there. I did like the Savade Gafiera and all the beautiful dances. I had a beautiful life. But it was also a very challenging time for me because I had my own business at the time. It was a brick and mortar business. So partnered up for part of that business, not the entire business, the business was mine. But there was a collaboration aspect that was crucial actually for the business and for it to be successful. And I partnered with a business partner for that part. And then later we partnered for a second project and I found out that on that project he was fraudulent. So I couldn’t really do this anymore. And again, the business depended on his name greatly. I tried to make it work, but I had to admit at some point that it didn’t make sense. Dismantling that and a house, a big house that I had built out over a year, having to let people go, it was a big decision, but it was the only decision I could make at the time. So I had to take that step and be courageous. I was very depressed at the beginning, I will fully admit it. It was not most beautiful thing or phase in my life. But after a while I realized, and also through my holistic studies, which helped me a lot during that time, I realized that I had to step out of victim mindset and into a self empowering mindset. Yeah, it was a process. It wasn’t done in a day. It was a process. However, when life gives you lemons. That’s right, make a whiskey sour.

[09:15] Bobbi: Love that.

[09:18] Regina: Yes. And then there are lots of stories related to that. Actually, I put my stuff in storage first. There was a lot of theft going on. It was a tough time. I had an investor’s visa. I eventually lost it to corruption. I could fill an entire book with just that chapter and maybe someday I’ll do it. But eventually I made the decision to move to New York City because that was sort of the place where I said, okay, if I move anywhere, that would be it. And I started from scratch. I built a new network. I didn’t really know many people in New York city. The few people I knew I had lived in California before in San Francisco, but the few people I knew in New York City were so busy, they were constantly traveling. They had no time to help me build a network. That’s right. I had to do it from scratch. Also was just coming back into the English speaking arena because I’d been speaking Portuguese and Spanish for seven years. That’s a challenge in itself. And I think you talk about wisdom. I just want to talk about this real quick. We have so much knowledge that we study, right? But the wisdom is what we gather in our hearts, and that’s also where our courage comes from. The courage is in our hearts and the fear is in our minds. And I believe if we can look back, connect to our hearts and look back and say, okay, first of all, I learned that I didn’t always make my decisions with my heart, which I probably should have done more and use that very precious intuition that we all have. It’s a gift that we all received and we are supposed to use it. And second, also, I look back and I said to myself, look, baby, one thing you did really well is that you always stayed in integrity. You never gave into corruption, you even fought corruption, and you stayed in integrity with yourself and with others. And now it’s time to stay in integrity even more with yourself and to treat yourself with more compassion.

[11:46] Bobbi: Oh, my goodness. So I’m just writing that down. There’s so much here that is just really speaking to me. The whole thing around your inner self, your inner knowing, intuition, I think that is so incredibly important. And yet I think so many times we’re moving so fast that we’re not listening. And it’s funny because we’re recording this just for the listeners, because it’ll be later when it comes out. But obviously today is April 20 and literally two days ago, Regina, I said I am taking a huge step back. I’m calling it a sabbatical. And I’m pausing different things that I have going on because everything in my heart and my body, even when I’m dreaming, the message I’m receiving is you need to slow down and you need to take care of yourself. The day after that night, I made that decision, what Wednesday or Tuesday, whatever that night, best night of sleep I’ve had in probably three years. And it’s amazing, just by making that slowing down the changes that are already happening within two days. What’s your experience with tapping into that inner knowing, that inner self or intuition? What’s your experience with it?

[13:14] Regina: Yes, it might be different for different people. Some people have more gut experiences. I also studied conversational intelligence for coaches. This is not my framework. It’s not my modality. It was created by somebody else. But I studied it in depth and I use it a lot for my coaching. And it also uses the knowledge of neuroscience where we say that the gut and the heart are parts of our brain. That’s right. And yes, you’re of course familiar with that. Why are we so focused on only the head brain then? I think we’re just educated into it and educated out of using our intuition, educated out of using our creativity, our dreaming capacity and all the good things that we could be using to make our lives more fulfilled and richer. And we often have the when you’re saying I got to slow down, it is about self care, it is about self leadership, about gaining new insights, but it’s also about living life more fully. Yes, because when we are not present in the moment, then life just runs by us. It’s like we don’t even have a part in it sometimes. Right, we get up in the morning and we think, oh, we quickly have breakfast, quickly jump under the shower, but we’re never present with those, right, that’s right. Into work. And then we do sometimes get into our zone because now we are in our sweet spot with what we love doing. But why not also enjoy those other moments? So back to intuition. I think when we learn doing this, then it’s easier to access our intuition when we give ourselves time and space to listen to our hearts. I recently also have been studying human design a little bit more in depth because I was really fascinated by the insights I gained from my own human design chart, which I had done a while ago by an expert. So I started studying this year and I already am certified now in levels one or two of quantum human design, actually with Karen Curry Parker. Now, what I learned there is also we are designed to make decisions in different ways depending on who we are, right? And in my case, I’m supposed to use my emotional intelligence as well. So it is from the heart. The heart is connected also to emotions, right. But it’s also connected to other parts of the body or other we won’t go into all the details here, but you need to find out how do I make my best decisions? So go back maybe in your life. How did I make my best decisions? What role did intuition play? Some people access it most easily in the third eye area, some in the heart, some in the gut. It may vary. Having said that, I do believe that their heart has a primordial role in all of this. Right. It’s because we find the courage there too. And it’s because it has so many functions and it has this huge electromagnetic field that has us connect with the rest of the world and other human beings. And it’s so complex, we got to use it. We kind of neglect it. And this is why in my work I talk about mindset and heartset self empowering mindset and heartset.

[17:20] Bobbi: That’s right.

[17:21] Regina: Because if we only focus on one, then we miss out on the other. Yeah, bring them together. I personally believe that the mind is most powerful when it’s led by the heart. Just me.

[17:36] Bobbi: No, I love that. And also going back to what you said, and I’m really glad that you added this it’s not just the slowing down, it’s the being present. And I had a guest on oh my God, this was more than a year ago and she talked about something similar to that and she’s like, it’s not just having more time, it’s being present in the time. Even something as simple as you mentioned, taking a shower, right? But actually feeling the temperature of the water, right? Feeling the way the soap feels in your hand, your shampoo or whatever, or taking your cup of coffee and holding it in your hands. Just those little moments in time where you’re really present that makes such a difference. Because otherwise you’re right, it rushes right by you. And you said the thing around self empowering mindset. You’ve said that a few times and I’ve written it down twice now.

[18:35] Regina: So I want to make sure I.

[18:37] Bobbi: Ask you, tell me more about your take on the self empowering mindset.

[18:44] Regina: Yes, when I work with clients who are open minded, these are my favorite clients. Right. Because then we can go really deep with mindset. Because as you know, about 95% or more of our behavior is driven by our subconscious programming. We easily go on autopilot and we think we’re in control, but we often really not because it’s mostly the subconscious that guides us along. We want to do something, but then we don’t because right. We find it. That’s right. And when we go really deep with the subconscious, that’s when we can eliminate some of that limiting stuff, limiting beliefs, but also limiting triggers, maybe limiting thought and emotional patterns and just get rid of those and replace them with more empowering mind statements, for example. Also just really self observation is so important. Reflection, introspection, how are we perceived by others? Is it the same as we perceive ourselves? All this goes into this process of self discovery which then leads us to greater self awareness and that’s when we can lead ourselves better and that’s also when we become better leaders of others. Because the more we understand ourselves, the more we can understand others. We also now understand that we have unique brilliance. Recognize this unique brilliance. I like to talk about knowing, owning and showing your value. And oftentimes we hear, especially with women, we have to own our value. But what is that even really go deep with that? So it’s not just the shadow side, it’s also the positive side. It’s both sides of the coin. I call this distinctive uniqueness or really being self aware and then using it. And that then can help you to show up authentically without fear, because you’re more aware of what are your shortcomings, but also what is your brilliance. And when you are aware of that fully, you can see it in others as a leader. But also, and this is important, the need for competition goes away because as you recognize your own brilliance, you recognize it in others, and you recognize that it is unique to them and you are you, and they are them. And everybody has a unique path in life, career, and it’s about co creation, not about the competition.

[21:32] Bobbi: Yeah. How is it? Tell me more about that last statement. It’s about the co creation, not the competition. Because I love that.

[21:40] Regina: Yes. I believe that we waste so much precious energy on competing. It creates a lot of conflict because it creates a lot of emotional tension in a way. And while people sometimes pride themselves of being competitive, but I think the competition is healthier when it’s with yourself in a way that, okay, I just want to learn and grow. I want to be a better person than I was yesterday, if that’s possible, or just different, because I’m learning constantly and I’m therefore gaining wisdom and experience through my life. And therefore I become maybe better at something, or I’m studying something more in depth, or I practice it more, and therefore I get better at it, and I become more masterful at it. I think that’s great. Right. It’s not about getting stuck or stagnating. It’s about yes, always growing, but recognizing that other people have their own way of growing. And when you see the complementary brilliance in your team as a leader, then you can pull it together in the way that it makes the most sense. And then you can maximize this co creation by, for example, first of all, by having conversations, but also and by finding out what that even is. We often think we know, but we don’t really know exactly what else is in the potential of each person in our team and ourselves. Once we figure that out, we can then adapt job descriptions, for example, and switch it around a little bit. And that alone could make a team more effective, more productive, more creative. And that will also inspire others to bring out their best selves, because now they feel more comfortable, now they feel more excited about the work they do more there’s more enthusiasm. Right? Right. I believe that, yes. We always say we have limitless potential, but we don’t always explore what else is in it.

[23:57] Bobbi: That’s right. What do you think keeps us from doing that?

[24:01] Regina: I believe that we are again, it goes a little bit back to how we grow up and how our society works, how even also education works. I believe where we are sort of in this box of a system that we are playing into, and we don’t always look beyond what we’re told. And others think they want from us or what their expectations are. We don’t allow ourselves to think bigger in that sense.

[24:41] Bobbi: Yeah.

[24:42] Regina: I always like to say, don’t think outside the box, just throw the box out.

[24:52] Bobbi: I think that’s really good advice.

[24:55] Regina: Just like with time management. We are so focused on time management, but we cannot manage time. Time just is. We only can manage our priorities. So what is your priority? We can manage our tasks, our resources without a certain deadline or a certain time frame. Right? That’s right. Let’s think a little bit also about the words we even use on a daily basis and how so important. Yes. Words are spells.

[25:32] Bobbi: I love that. I love that. Tell me more about that, Regina.

[25:36] Regina: Well, we say we spell words, right. The spelling of the words. Well, words are spells. Words are really important. I talk a lot about energy in my work because it’s sometimes even more telling than the words we speak. However, words are key as well. We need to be more mindful about what words we use. Are we just taking on words from other people without ever questioning them? I’m very linguistically oriented because I love languages and I speak several languages. So I’ve always had an interest for words and for how we use them. Because when you study a foreign language, you think about, oh, why is this word like that?

[26:27] Bobbi: Yeah.

[26:28] Regina: Does that even mean some words are really hard to remember when you study them because they don’t make any sense for your brain in that moment.

[26:39] Bobbi: Right. So can you give me an example? I have an example, but I’d love to hear an example from you first, about being careful about the words that you use, like on an everyday basis. How they become spells.

[26:51] Regina: Yes, on an everyday basis. First of all, all those negative sentences that we say to ourselves, whether it’s out aloud or with our inner voice, I shouldn’t have done this. It creates this. Oh, you’re stupid. Right? That’s right. This was really stupid. No. So you’re programming yourself to think of yourself as stupid, unfortunately, even though you’re not consciously aware of it, but your subconscious programs that onto you, and that’s how your confidence and your self esteem are then affected. Also, I believe that a word that we use all the time that makes little sense to me is empowerment when it’s used for others. I believe that there’s no one that can empower you but yourself. Yes. I can guide my clients to self empower, for sure. As a coach, that’s my duty, in a way. But I find it. And I have to admit, Bobbi right. I have not found a better word.

[28:15] Bobbi: It’s a great word.

[28:16] Regina: I keep thinking about it. It’s a great challenge if anybody has one. Please. There’s enablement, which is not the same. It’s different. For lack of a better word, we use it. However, I’m very careful about when I use it. And I don’t know anybody who uses it because there is no better word right now. It’s just important to remember that the power is already inside of you. Nobody is going to place it into you. That’s already there. Right.

[28:54] Bobbi: I think that’s a great point. And when you said the thing about words or spells, I think another phrase that we tell, at least for myself, I caught myself doing this. This was more than a year ago and my dad was there were some things going on with him. And I found myself saying to Rick, rick’s, my husband, I’m like, oh, I’m so stressed about dad. I’m so stressed about dad. And I’m like, am I stressed or am I thinking I want to give this some thought. It needs some attention. What I’ve noticed, Regina, is I have a tendency to do this oh, I’m so stressed about something. When in fact, what I’m really feeling is there’s something that I want to give attention to. And I’ve started to correct myself because if you say I’m stressed, I’m stressed.

[29:46] Regina: Your body’s picking up on that.

[29:48] Bobbi: Your brain’s picking up on it, right?

[29:50] Regina: Yes. Your body and your sorry. Your body and your mind are of course, constantly communicating. They are not separate from each other. In fact, the subconscious programming is in your body. And that’s why then we get stomach problems, we get back problems maybe that are coming from the tension in our minds rather than sometimes it comes from sitting too much, of course, or from wrong posture, of course. It’s all playing into it. But it is our mind and our body, they’re in constant communication and our energy is as well. Just look at Amy Cuddy’s power posing studies. You see it clearly there when she does those power poses and she tells people to hold an expansive big pose that makes them feel powerful for a couple of minutes. And that changes something in their confidence. It changes how they show up in their meetings and their job interviews in that particular study. It’s all related. And of course, the power posing plays into the energy. It’s not separate. So you could say it’s about the physical part, but it’s also about the energetic piece. Right? Yes. So the spells of the words have an impact on your body. They have an impact on your emotions. How do you now feel about this? It makes you feel different. Feelings are biochemical processes. Sorry.

[31:40] Bobbi: Yeah, no, that’s good. Okay, so I love that. Wanted to go back when you were talking about the unique brilliance because I think that is and you were talking about the competition.

[31:51] Regina: Right.

[31:53] Bobbi: And that when we understand our own unique brilliance as well as our shortcomings, then we can look for the unique brilliance of others. And it reminded me this was way back in the day. Oh my God. This might have been it was December 2002. I know exactly when I heard this. I was at a conference in La. And there was a speaker there, and his name was Roger Anthony, and he speaks on integrity and one of my favorite speeches that I’ve ever heard and.

[32:20] Regina: I’ve seen a lot.

[32:21] Bobbi: And he said, when there’s no internal conflict, there’s no external competition. And I just loved that because I think that’s really true. But what do you think when you think about discovering our own unique brilliance? What do you think keeps us from doing that?

[32:44] Regina: Well, we often told, well, first of all, expectations of others. Sometimes we think we need to do something, although it’s not really our desire to do something. Just think of people taking jobs they don’t really want or choosing careers that their parents would choose for them. But if they had really made a choice, they would maybe not have done that. It starts with that. But also, I think it’s not really asked for at school. We have a redefined set of subjects that we have to study in a way, right? That’s right. They all make sense for each of us? Maybe not. Are they all even useful for each of us? Maybe not. We don’t get a choice. We get a limited choice at some point in our school career, but not from the start. And I believe that both well, a lot of parents might do it, but, you know, in school it’s not really done so much. This discovery of, okay, who is this child, even? Yeah, what’s their main interest? What would they be passionate about if they had the freedom to do that? And I have, for example, one of my nephews, he loves to be a musician. He now does it. He has a different day job, but he has this almost as a second job now. But you know what I mean? In school, there wasn’t enough of that. So some of it just did not excite him. They suffer through schools. This is so unnecessary. And I believe I did not suffer through school. I was not one of those. However, I did also not find everything in school that would have really allowed me to fully blossom and to fully consider my choices. At the time, there was also no Internet, of course. That’s why I know as much. I grew up in a tiny village. I didn’t really have anybody to guide me along in this. I knew I learned languages, so that’s what I ended up studying, and I combined it with some other focuses, and later I added onto those studies in a different way. However, it is just like, okay, we’re just not brought up that way. Most of us, most of us, a lot of parents also don’t always have the time, or they think they don’t have the time. And it’s a combination of many, many things. And then again, we don’t allow ourselves to pause and evaluate, okay, is what I’m doing now in. My job or in my business still fulfilling me? Or is it just something that I’m doing because I’m already in the habit? Right.

[35:54] Bobbi: And then I think a lot of fear could creep in, too.

[35:57] Regina: Yes, of course it’s stepping out of your comfort zone. But again, if you’re already questioning whether to step out of your comfort zone, it’s no longer a comfort zone because you’re no longer comfortable anyway. It’s a convenience zillow. That is one of those words that sometimes don’t make sense as we use it. And then it’s courage. Again. Do you have the courage to look at some other stuff? That’s not the best word. Rather treasures, I should say, in your potential.

[36:33] Bobbi: Right.

[36:33] Regina: Do you dare to look at those? Maybe you think they are only passions that make only sense outside of work, but what if could be more joyful, more fun? And what if you could even bring some of those passions? Even if you don’t want to change jobs or careers, maybe you can bring some of that into your work. I’ve done this with dance to some extent. I’ve learned so many lessons through dance. Business lessons, presence lessons. How do you show up? Leadership lessons?

[37:15] Bobbi: Yeah, a lot, right. I think it’s a really great point that you’re making. And I’m thinking about I’ve had so many conversations with people over the years who have said, for example, like, oh, I’d like to do coaching, but I’ve got this other job. Whatever. But you could start there, right?

[37:34] Regina: You could still study.

[37:36] Bobbi: And then I remember I was talking to someone, I’m like, what if you study and then you start offering coaching within your company? There’s so many ways. But I think this goes back to your throw the box idea. We put ourselves in a box, and then that becomes our limitations. We have to be more creative. And the other thing, when you were talking about oh, my goodness. You were talking about the I’m just blanking on what it was. It was so good because I got blown away by the convenience zone versus comfort zone. Oh, when you were talking about growing up on the small farm.

[38:21] Regina: Right.

[38:22] Bobbi: And I grew up on a very small farm, too, in southwest Missouri. And there was a point this is my early 20s when I’m, like, my options have become limited because everyone I know, we’re in the same environment. We’re all kind of doing the same thing. And I thought, for me to make a big shift, I need to take myself out of this environment because I need new information. I need new insights and new ideas, and I can’t get new information within this environment. And that’s when I moved. I mean, I went from southwest Missouri to Chicago. You couldn’t come up with, like, that was just a whole different world. But I met so many different people in so many different walks of life, and they were doing so many different things. And it was just like this mind blowing experience of, wow, there are so many options. Now I just got to figure out what would be fun for me, how do I explore? And that’s what I was thinking of.

[39:21] Regina: Yes. And I want to talk about three things here. Actually just made a note because I also don’t want to miss out on those three ideas. First of all, what you just described. So starting your coaching business while you have a job is exactly what one of my previous I worked with her last year is doing. Right. And she actually has an advantage, I have to say, because she automatically is trusted. She already has a connection, so she’s doing this already. And she got fines more easily than some other people, actually. Right. Brilliant. Yeah. Also talking about boxes again. When I first moved to Spain, I was working at the Boston Consulting Group in Munich. I wanted to come to the US at the time, but it was hard. They weren’t really the right jobs. That would also then justify BCG doing my work permit and everything and my green card. So at the time, I was not in a leadership position yet. And one of the consultants I was working with said and I was not in the consulting arena, I was in the other part of it’s always called different into different consulting firms. So whatever it is, at the time it was called administrative staff, now it’s called support. Then it was called support staff, now it’s called something else. It doesn’t really matter, but they’re all the time. Yeah, there are all levels there too, from whatever to whatever. I was working at Visa G, Munich, and my colleague says to me, there is a position open in Spain. Why don’t you move there? And I said, well, I don’t speak Spanish. That was my limitation at that time. So now he said, but you can learn that. And I was so limited by thinking that you had to study a language for a long time in school or there was no other way. And he changed that through this one comment in my brain. So now I said oh, you’re right. And then it turned out that my company even paid for the classes. So that was great. I took classes, I learned Spanish within a few months. I just went home from work at night and I bought Spanish newspapers. I went to my classes, I studied. My first interview was in English. The second interview over the phone was in Spanish and in September. So that was in April, and even my teachers even were on strike in April. So I had to start by myself.

[42:09] Bobbi: Right, I did.

[42:11] Regina: So then that was in April. In September I moved to Spain. And ten months later I was offered a leadership position. The highest in that unreal. Yes. That’s how powerful it can be to throw the box out. That’s right. And the third idea that I wanted to pick up on is that yes, it is very enriching and eye opening, but also horizon opening. When you move to a different location, it doesn’t always have to be a different country. It can be just a different location. Observe. How do other people think? You don’t have to start thinking like them. It makes you better at discerning what is for you and what is not for you as you get a broader range of ways of thinking to call it. Right.

[43:12] Bobbi: I also think to go back to something we were talking about earlier, it helps us get out of our own head.

[43:19] Regina: Yes.

[43:20] Bobbi: Right. I mean, sometimes I get stuck on a problem. Think about it, think about it, think about it, think about it, think about it. And finally I’m like, oh, my God. If you had the answer, it would have already appeared to you. It’s time to get out of your own head, right? Get some more insight on this.

[43:39] Regina: But we do that.

[43:40] Bobbi: For some reason, we do that. So I love those three points. Wow, this has been great. Go ahead.

[43:47] Regina: Well, one thought about this, right? The answers are not in our head. The questions are in our head. The answers are not in our head. They’re often in our heart. Or they might be somewhere else, but they’re usually not in our head. And also we are not supposed to answer all the questions for everybody. We think we have to do that sometimes. But no, some are our questions, not all that’s. Right? Okay.

[44:16] Bobbi: So I’m glad you mentioned that, because that takes me back to something I wanted to kind of like a final question here around heartset. And when you say that the answers are in our heart, what could someone do to make that shift from trying to think with their head to thinking with their heart?

[44:37] Regina: I believe it’s really important to connect with your heart. Take time. Practice this in the beginning. It might be a little challenging. You might doubt, okay, am I really connected? Just like when we learn to reconnect to our inner power. Take a pause. Some people meditate on it. If it’s not your thing, do maybe something else. Maybe use a mantra that is related to your heart. Or just close your eyes and listen to your heartbeat. There are several different ways. I think it’s just really also, you might just call it trust my intuition again. Because we have this inner voice that wants to guide us and sometimes we mistake it for the inner crazy voice. Sometimes we call it the monkey mind. Right? Voice. Yes. But we are actually not respecting monkeys because they don’t do that, I think.

[45:41] Bobbi: No. Correct.

[45:44] Regina: And it’s about self exploration. There’s no one recipe to do this. Trust your wisdom. Maybe make a list of everything, all the precious things that you have learned through your experience, through your stories, and look at it, how much you have achieved. Who have you become through this? Because you’re now the most powerful, the wisest human you have ever been in your entire life, even if you didn’t always do it perfectly in the past. I sometimes feel like writing an article that says love yourself despite everything, or something like this, because we spend so much time on self resentment, regret, shame, guilt, and it’s not healthy. It’s like this mulling over things. And when you take time to forgive yourself and be more compassionate, use that compassion that comes from your heart so that you can then access your inner treasures more easily again.

[47:00] Bobbi: Yeah, I think that comes back to something you said earlier, treat yourself with compassion. And I don’t know that we’re good at that.

[47:09] Regina: No, in general, for me, it was easier in the past to forgive my business partner than to forgive myself. That took much longer.

[47:18] Bobbi: Really?

[47:19] Regina: That’s interesting. I think it’s like that for many people, because we always have this thought of, I should have known better, should have been warm. But no, you did the best you could in the past, because with the information you had, with the wisdom you had at that time, and that’s it. And then life or the universe gave you another opportunity to grow.

[47:47] Bobbi: And sometimes it was that opportunity that we’re judging ourselves for. That’s how we learned the wisdom. And now we’re looking back and saying, well, I should have known. But no, that’s how you learned. It was through that experience, sometimes even.

[48:01] Regina: That experience that catapults you into your next chapter, like, in my case, has happened too.

[48:07] Bobbi: That’s right. I’ve loved this conversation. So where can people find out more about you and all the amazing work you do?

[48:14] Regina: Yes. Thank you for allowing me to share that. My website is Transformyourperformance, like my business name, so it’s Transformyourperformance.com. I have a LinkedIn profile with a LinkedIn Career Growth Strategies newsletter, free resources every week. And my LinkedIn profile is, of course my name Reginahuber, also a YouTube channel with the same name at reginahuber. And I have my book Speak Up, Stand Out in Shine for those of our listeners who might be interested in finding out about some tools and how to prepare mentally, physically and energetically for challenging situations in business, like presentations like Simple Tools. Simple is good, I always say that’s, right? Yes. And right now I’m also offering a limited number of leader up level sessions. Whether you are committed to be a better leader of self or a better leader of others, or both at the same time, we always have potential to grow. I wanted to make this available and help anybody who is within the first ten people who sign up to have this session with me for free. And I’ll help them with one specific challenge or one specific skill. They want to improve and that link. We can maybe post this, but it’s very simple. It’s transformyourperformance.com leaderuplevel.

[49:47] Bobbi: And I’ll put all those links in the show notes. I think you sent me all those, right?

[49:51] Regina: I did. Perfect.

[49:53] Bobbi: And I’ll put them all in the show notes. Awesome. Anything else?

[49:58] Regina: I think that’s it. Just always remember that you are already powerful and your power is inside of you. It’s always there for you. You just got to connect with it.

[50:10] Bobbi: That’s right. What a wonderful way to end. Regina, thank you so much for being here today.

[50:15] Regina: Thank you so much for having me. This has been an amazing conversation. Thank you for guiding us along so beautifully in this conversation.

[50:23] Bobbi: Bobbi it’s been my pleasure. I hope you took a lot from that conversation. My goal is to bring you a variety of conversations that will help you as you navigate your life and create your desired future. I hope that you have a terrific week and that you continue to thrive no matter what.