Understanding Self-Doubt and How to Shift to Confident

[00:02] Bobbi: Welcome to UnYielded: Thriving No Matter What, where we talk about how to make your next chapter in life your best chapter. I’m your host, Bobbi Kahler, and I believe that the best is yet to come.

[00:24] Bobbi: It is time to say goodbye to self doubt. As young children, we are naturally curious, joyful, and carefree. But as we grow older, in our effort to do as we are told and to fit in, we start to compartmentalize and doubt ourselves. The problem is that this eats away at our self confidence, our joy, and our well being. I’m so excited to introduce my guest expert this week. Her name is Georgina Halibi, and she was a guest on my show, oh, gosh, maybe 18 months ago or so. Georgina is going to explain more about the self doubt and the self confidence, and she’s also going to take you through a very powerful exercise that will help you see all of your amazing qualities so that you can truly appreciate the beautiful essence of who you truly are and who you’ve always been. I can’t wait for you to experience that a little bit about Georgina. She is a professional certified coach with over 25 years of senior roles within business and marketing, and a lifetime of experience in meditation and self discovery. It has always been essential for her to balance the two fundamental needs our outer success and our inner peace. And today, she helps highly motivated, self aware professionals to achieve both peak performance and well being. We don’t have to sacrifice one for the other. I cannot wait to dive into this episode and for you to hear this. So here we go. Welcome, Georgina.

[01:57] Georgina: Hi. Today I’d like to explore self doubt, and I’d like to use this session to help connect you back into your innate uniqueness, so that you can recognize the amazing attributes that you have naturally within you and shift from a space of self doubt into natural self confidence. And one of the best ways we can start to do that is to reflect on children and how children interact with the world. They’re constantly curious, they’re in play, they’re exploring, taking things apart, putting them back together again. And as they do so, they learn and grow. They’re completely present and joyful with an open heart. And you notice as they play, there is no self consciousness, there is no.

Will they think I’m not good enough? Or will this create anxiety in the future or problems for me? They are only in the now, and that’s really, really powerful. Children are engines for growth and learning, and they’re a great inspiration for us. But then, as they get older, social conditioning happens.

We start to hear, stop being so noisy. Why are you so naughty? You’re a bad girl or you’re a bad boy, why are you so stupid?  Stop being so loud. Stop making a mess. We hear all of these things, and so we try and modify our behavior and repress aspects of ourselves. We push them down. And when we do so, we put in a part of ourself, along with all of the energy that belongs with it, into a shadow, into a long bag that we end up dragging behind us all of our lives.

And we get to a point as adults where we no longer feel whole. Because along with the good behavior that we’ve had to live up to, we’ve stuffed all of the negative or the bad behavior, the so called bad behavior, down into that part of ourselves. And along with it goes the joy, the spontaneity presence. We wonder why we don’t feel happy or complete.

[04:28] Georgina: And so we get to a part where we’re living only in self doubt. We’re living half of our lives forgetting what our true nature is, what our true essence is. And today I want to take you through an exercise to help remind you of your childlike qualities, the natural essence of you and who you are. And one of the best ways that we can do that is by going in through the eyes of people who love us. Now, people who love us, love us for who we are. They can see our dark sides as well as our light, but they still love us. We are fighting under the illusion of having to be perfect, but we’re actually loved just as we are.

So I want to take you through an exercise now. It’s actually an NLP exercise where you shut your eyes and we’re going to go through and see you through the eyes of someone that you love. So take a moment now to just shut your eyes, get comfortable and settled, make sure your spine is straight and take a couple of really lovely deep breaths, noticing your abdomen rising on the inbreath and deflating on the outbreath. Just taking a moment to really be thankful for this time and the space that you’ve given yourself for your happiness and well being, to access this wisdom that is inside you and accessible just by a few short breaths. And I want you to imagine that standing in front of you is someone that you love. So take a moment just to find that right person. It could be a partner or a spouse. It could be a grandparent or a parent or a best friend. Just take a moment and see them. They’re standing in front of you and they’re looking at you and their eyes are full of love, affection. Just notice how they’re looking at you. And I want you to walk towards them. And as you approach them, I want you to walk around them, go behind them and step into their body. And now you’re looking through their eyes at you. And I want you to feel all these feelings that they have, that they were shining out towards you. That love, that appreciation. And as you look through their eyes. I want you to notice what are all of the qualities that they’re seeing in you, that they love in you, that they appreciate. Just take a moment to really see through their eyes and feel your heart expand with that same recognition, that same appreciation. Now I want you to gently step out of their body and move forward again to where you were standing, bringing that feeling of love and appreciation with you. And I want you to go and stand back where you were in front of them, seeing them look at you with all of that love and recognition. And I want you to receive it knowing that at your core, you are unique and that all of your attributes that they recognize are at the core of who you are. What makes you you, what has always made you you? What do you want to appreciate about yourself now? Just check in if there’s any part of your body that you’re feeling and receiving this feeling of appreciation. Just put your hands there and breathe in.

Remind yourself of all your amazing qualities and set the intention to come from this place, to come from this amazing, unique you as you navigate through the world as a child would from a space of confidence and curiosity. Have a wonderful day.